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Stand Tall & Own It
Something shifted. You can feel it. You just can't name it yet.
Stand Tall & Own It is for women in the second half of life who are high-functioning on the outside and quietly disoriented on the inside. You built your life inside systems you trusted completely — until you realized you couldn't tell what was actually yours from what you'd just learned to navigate well.
Host Andrea Johnson doesn't offer formulas. She offers honest thinking, sharp observation, and the kind of conversation that makes you pull over and sit in your driveway.
This is where the real work starts.
Stand Tall & Own It
Episode 88 - Finding Joy Every Day, with Sylvia Worsham
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Sylvia Worsham received a second chance at life and now lives out her passion by helping men and women who find themselves at a crossroads, navigate change with confidence, faith and joy! Her mission is to help parents become the best version of themselves, to trust and act on their inner wisdom, and integrate their personal and professional lives with joy.
Topics discussed in this episode:
How a life changing event can help you find your purpose and see all the joy it can bring you.
Leadership Principles:
- Law of Reflection: It’s in the silence and in that space that you find the answers you are seeking
- Law of the Rubber Band: Find the tension between today and where you need to be
Habits:
- Daily Reflection
- Daily physical, spiritual, and mental workouts
Green Flags:
- Where do all the points seem to line up?
- What is the energy you get in those times?
Advice:
Tap into the energy of those lined up times and use it as motivation for the next time.
15 Invaluable Laws of Growth: Live Them and Reach Your Potential, John C. Maxwell
Where to find Sylvia:
LinkedIn: Sylvia Worsham
Instagram: Sylvia Worsham
Facebook Page: Sylvia Worhsam
Amazon link for book: Journey to Me: Trust the Wisdom of Change
Become an Intentional Optimist!
All my links
30 Minute Free Consultation
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Welcome to episode 88. This podcast provides me the opportunity to meet a whole lot of amazing women. But when I get pitched, meaning someone is either recommended to me or they contact me themselves, I do a little research to make sure that they're a good fit. I want to bring you inspiring stories that you relate to and give you actionable tips and advice that you can use immediately. Now, today's guest, Sylvia Worsham, was recommended by a colleague, and when I learned more about her story and what she does, I knew that this was going to be a great conversation. Oh, and it is. Sylvia is a first-generation Mexican-American who, as she will explain, was raised as an achiever. And boy, did she achieve. But she was brought to a screeching halt 10 years ago, and her perspective completely shifted. Anyone can have a life-changing moment, but when it's a life or death crisis, that moment can be pivotal. Her story is both inspiring and relatable, especially to all of us type A women out there who have been striving to prove our worth through the things we accomplished or how we look. I cannot wait for you to hear the joy that is possible when we stop, take a new look, and move forward with a new purpose. Here's my lovely conversation with my friend Sylvia Worsham. Hello, Sylvia. Welcome to the show.
SPEAKER_00Thank you so much. I'm so happy to be here. Thank you for inviting me.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I think this is going to be a fun conversation. We have a lot of things in common in our history, but we have a lot of things in common in our mission. Why don't you tell our listeners a little bit about you and your background and what you do that is unconventional?
SPEAKER_00Okay, I love this, these types of questions. I'm a native of Brownsville, Texas. So I grew up in the border town and I am full-blooded Mexican. That's what a lot of people don't know about me because worsham doesn't give you that indication at all. So my first language is Spanish. And I grew up with two immigrant parents who basically taught us that in order to be successful in this country, you had to achieve. So I grew up with a perfectionist achiever. And I love my parents very much, but they didn't, they weren't aware of what they were modeling to us. So uh as he became a doctor and he worked long hours, that's what I saw as a kid. And so it was no wonder that I ended up in the medical field for the first 20 plus years in my life. I ended up working for Roche Pharmaceuticals and then transitioning over to Pfizer and working with them for 12 years. And I became this person that needed to achieve. I needed to achieve in order to feel worthy of being in this country because I was first generation and I needed to achieve to feel enough. And so I grew up with those belief systems, which, as we know, are limiting to our amazing capacity as human beings. Uh, but at the time you're not aware. So you keep going and you and I had this idea that if I got there, the number one spot advisor, that happiness would suddenly happen to me. And even though I got there multiple times, I stood on stage in front of 300 of my peers. And as I'm giving my number one speech, I'm wondering, is this it? Like, wow, is this what happiness feels like? And it just didn't feel full, like a full cup. And interestingly enough, in about like a couple of years later, I start dating my second husband, and I start getting this pain right below my my chest. Uh, and I don't think anything of it because you know I'm really stressed out in my job. I'm working 50 to 60 hour work weeks. I've got a young son, you know, I've got a big, powerful job at Pfizer, and I just keep going. And it's Easter weekend, and we're scheduled to be in Louisiana. And luckily, I fly into Houston and we spend the night, but in the middle of the night, I have a pain that I described in my book as 50 knives piercing my chest, and it was so powerful. And I had talked to my brother and sister, who are both doctors, and they had said, Oh, you're 37 years old, you're in super great shape, you know, was in the best shape of my life. And they said, It's probably pleurisy. And for those that don't know what pleurisy is, it's the um inflammation of the lining of the lung, but it kind of mimics the same symptoms as pulmonary embolism. And you know, as women, we we need to understand that that is a very big risk, and it is a very uh common risk when you start retaking birth control pills after the age of 35. And that's where I was. I was 37 and I had just started taking birth control pills again, and I had taken them, you know, safely forever and never had an incident. And but then I called my brother the next morning and he said, Did you take a flight from Brownsville to Houston? And I said, Well, yes, I told you I was because you need to go to the ER immediately, and you can't leave without having the scan of your lungs. And so what they do. We end up at St. Luke's, which is a Godsend, uh, because it's among the top hospitals in the medical center uh for the condition I have. And uh I walk in unassisted while my boyfriend and my son are in the ER, uh, you know, parking the car, and uh and they do the scan, and within minutes, I get the specialists, a lung specialist, walk into my ER room and say, a woman in your condition should not be sitting up talking to me right now. You have two rather large pulmonary embolisms in your left lung. And my suspicion is that pain you felt the night before was the blood clots going through your heart. And I'm surprised they did not stop your heart. Right rather large. And I just sat there stunned because I'm like, wow, this is Easter weekend and my son's outside. And so I'm thinking, okay, well, you know, well, what's next? What do we need to do? Action-oriented person that I'm absolutely and so he said, Well, you're gonna stay here for a couple of days because on the original scan we saw that the your liver's inflamed, and we don't know why, but tomorrow we're gonna do another scan. And I just thought, inflamed? Like, why is my liver inflamed? And liver is a very, you know, primary organ that we all need. So I thought, okay, well, let's see what happens. And they do another scan, and I get six doctors in my room. And you know, being in sales, you you can read a room rather quickly and nobody's looking at me, especially medical sales. You're used to talking to doctors. And so I'm thinking, yeah, this isn't good news. And and the doctor that had spoken to me the day before said, you know, we talked to your family members and we have a real problem. And I thought to myself, really, aside from like all the multiple pulmonary embolisms, because I had multiple, it wasn't just the two in the left lung, and that's already a miracle in itself. Yeah, you know, because most people die from one, right? And it just kills them. And I had multiple. And so I'm thinking, okay. And he said, You have a large blood clot, and it's in your vena cava, and it's blocking the entire vena cava. And for those that don't know, the vena cava is the main vein that supplies blood to all your organs. Yes. So it's a pretty massive, very important vein. And so to have a clot basically blocking it is probably not a good idea. And he said, Well, you see the three docs on your right, and I said, and I took a look at them and they're like, They're they're the transplant team, and they're on your case now because we have a there's a huge risk you're gonna lose your liver and you're gonna require a transplant.
unknownWow.
SPEAKER_00But this is what we're gonna do. And so they start going through the medication they're gonna give me. And you know, being in pharmaceutical sales, I had been the rep that had always talked to them about side effects. Well, they start going through the side effects, and when they get to death and hemorrhagic stroke, my mind just goes blank. And the only image I have, Andrea, is of falling into God's arms because you know, medicine is doubtful I'm going to survive. In fact, they gave my family a 20% chance that I would survive. Yeah. So I'm like, wow. And so they take me to ICU and they start it, and you know, they all of the routine stuff happens. And then the next morning on Easter Sunday morning, I have a very powerful moment in the ICU when a woman from the Catholic diocese walks in and says, Do you want to pray? And my boyfriend's there. We start praying because we don't know what the medication did. If it didn't do its job, then I was going to end up requiring something more interventional. And they had already discussed the risk with me, I would likely die on the table. So that's not an option that we wanted to explore. Let's put it that way. And we start this, we start saying the Our Father. And in the middle of the Our Father, there's a love so immense that envelops the entire room. And in that moment, in that broken space, I felt peace come over me. And a knowing that I was gonna be all right, it felt like I was being cradled by God and his loving arms. And as I say it, I get emotional because I get emotional to the 10-year mark, you know, of that day. Yeah. Just passed on Friday, April 8th was the anniversary, the 10th anniversary of that day. And she leaves a room, and my boyfriend turns to me and says, You felt him too, didn't you? Oh. Oh, it was just like, Yes, I did. And he's gonna need a moment here. And he confirmed, you know, like he confirmed to both of us that we that I was going to survive. And so I don't call it survival anymore. I've come to a point in my life where I call it, I am a recipient of a second chance at life, because that's really what it was. I received a blessing, and it was a miracle in itself, and that was my miracle on Easter Sunday morning. So it begins this inner shift that is so powerful because now I start to ask myself, what is my true purpose in life? Like, why did I survive when so many people died? And there must be a powerful reason why he gave me three miracles in one weekend because there were three miracles that occurred as the weekend progressed. And with a final miracle with the example I just discussed with God being in the room. So I began this personal growth journey. And I had taken a John Maxwell course uh two years before this incident, and met the wonderful team from the John Maxwell team with Bridget McAdams at the time, um, and taken one of her courses, and I fell in love with his teachings. Um, I thought it was a wonderful mix of his faith and his background into leadership. And I thought, what a beautiful way to merge my previous job in sales and the job that I now have as a turning points coach and a speaker and an author. And I thought, let me explore this further, let me see if this is for me. But I still kept the job at Pfizer for a while. You know, the transitions are always tough. You it's it's like the golden shackles. You don't want to let go of that of that, of the uh, of the, you know, the money. And and because I had grown up as an achiever and needing to achieve, that was always in the back of my mind. And that kind of took uh action in my current role. And I still hadn't become a coach, so I didn't know how the whole awareness piece worked, right? Why I was operating from a fear-based space or ego identity space. And um so I just continue my journey and I I marry my second husband, Donnie, who was my boyfriend, you know, in the in this story, and I moved to Austin and I just start all over again. You know, I I transition into a stay-at-home parent space, and it's a huge transition. I go into this identity crisis mode where as women we we don't know what our role is, and that's where it gets tricky because you grow up believing certain things, and then you have this major shift that occurs, and it starts you start to question who you truly are at your core. And and at times you don't even know who you are. So you have to go back to basics and foundation and figure out who am I and what what is the fire inside of me? What really you know fills my cup, and and so I start taking myself out on artist dates, you know, like what Julia Cameron calls artist dates and the artist way, the book, and then just start making lists of all these activities that fill me with joy, and among them is masterminds with John C. Maxwell, right? So one day I'm journaling and I have my baby once. I had just had a baby girl, and I I get this huge prompting. Call Bridget, call Bridge, and I call Bridget, and it's May of 2017, and I say, Hey, is that offer still open to become part of the team? What do you think? And well, you're in Austin now, right? So we have people there in Austin, sure. Let's start your certification process. And so I started that day, just very action-oriented. And I become and and it just starts to change this dynamic inside of me. I just start to feel like this is why I survived, and this is what he intends for me to do. And the more I turn to him, the more I look inward for my answers, the more he reveals to me, yes, you are on the right path for your life. You are meant to be a coach, you are meant to be a speaker, you are meant to be an author. And when the pandemic hits Austin, the prompting to write the book gets harder and faster. And I'd learn to act on those instincts because had I not learned to act on those instincts, I wouldn't be sitting in front of you.
SPEAKER_02Well, now you trust yourself, right? Now you trust what you hear from inside now. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Whereas before I was trusting what was outside of me. That was, you know, I mean, we all you grow up differently, right? Our modeling is different. And our parents did the best they could, but they just weren't aware of how their modeling impacts our upbringing and our belief systems and our focus. And the more you focus on different negative things, the more you become those negative things. So I started to make those shifts that were tough shifts to make. Yeah. Very necessary. Because as I shifted into the space that God was intending for me, was find joy, pockets of joy in the journey. Your life isn't just about your pain, it's about rejoicing, even as you navigate storms in your life. And the more I turned inward, like I said, the more he revealed you've got to, you've got to write your book about turning points because this is what you've been very good at. This is your leadership style. This is how you've led other women to find joy in their life. So in the book, I share my blueprint of how you can take a turning point, what characterizes a turning point, what's going on with your subconscious mind, what is going on with your conscious mind, what is going on inwardly, your relationship with your inner source of wisdom. And for people, it it's different things. Like for you and I, it's God, it's Jesus. But for other people, it it will be your their intuition and energy and um their higher source. So, whatever it is for for the women listening, that is what I discuss. And how do you align all three? Right, and take the blueprint from turning point all the way to soul identity. Because one thing I had noticed in my turning points, I had navigated through my life, was that there were certain I there were two identities that battled it out almost my soul identity, my higher self, the one I was born to be, this person I was born and created to be, full of joy and happiness.
SPEAKER_01Sure.
SPEAKER_00And the other fear-based ego identity that I that my trauma and my childhood memories had created me over time. Right. And I needed to empower that self-image first. And that's what I started to do with my courses at the John Maxwell team. And as a coach myself, I started taking courses and more courses. And I realized if I empower that ego, the self-image, they can live harmoniously, ego and soul. And soul will always be what aligns you to your true desires. Yeah. Because God will place certain desires in your heart. And as you're navigating these major changes in your life, you know, that's what keeps you going. That's your purpose of why you do what you do.
SPEAKER_01Right.
SPEAKER_00And and you align it and you align it until you reach whatever goal he intends for you to reach, because there's always a lesson in everything that we go through.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00And that's so relaying.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. And this is, you know, recently, um, I have described my own, you and I have very similar journeys in not, I've never suffered a pulmonary embolism. Nor do you want to. No, I do not. When I hear PE, I mean, I spent 25 years almost in the medical field. So I get it. And you and I have chatted offline about the fact that um you were a Pfizer rep and I knew quite a few of them. And um, the the cancer drug that really helped my mother was tamoxifen, and you were like the tamoxifen rep. So there are many parallels in there. And you joined John Maxwell, the John Maxwell team and became a coach just about two years before I did. So um this is a parallel that we have. And the way you describe the soul, your soul's um identity, I have described the last several years of a stripping down for me, stripping off all the layers and figuring out what I don't need and getting down to who I really am, which is exactly what you just described. And I think for anybody who's on a true personal growth journey, they're gonna do that. If they're truly on a personal growth journey and not just on an achiever journey, they are going to strip down the things they don't need because that's part of growing. If you look at a plant you have to prune, if you look at um a ship trying to take on bigger winds, you might need to lower the the boom or you might need to lift some of the weight out of the water. And all of those things are important. Um, one of the things that you say in your bio is that you actually help professional parents work with to be better parents and to have per professional and personal lives full of joy. What is it about working with parents that has become your passion?
SPEAKER_00It actually has always been my passion because I've been a single mom before and I made tons of mistakes, as we tend to do when we're not aware. And the book was my love letter to parents to allow them to see just how the modeling can lead to certain things that you may have in uh unintentionally modeled to your kids because you just weren't aware. Like my father wasn't aware that he was a perfectionist and an achiever and that you're creating the subconscious mind has no filter, as you well know, you're a coach. And but for those listening, the subconscious mind is your emotional mind, and it just takes in everything that it's given without bias, and you can't reject it like you can with your conscious mind. And when you're a little kid, especially when you're a little kid, you don't know what you're taking in because you don't know to say, well, that person's negative, so I don't want to be near that person. They're not adults, they haven't developed that conscious awareness. And so, as parents, it's really incredibly important for us to look inward, be that higher self, that soul identity, operate from a space of love because love truly does conquer all. And it does um it does help your children see a different world and a different way of being. Instead of always focusing on what's not working, because our society is already working against us. The entire messaging behind it is you're not perfect unless you do this, this, this. Well, that's a very negative message to receive as kids. So when in the process of writing this book, I realized this is the way to be the best version of ourselves, is to strip and to get above the noise of the world and to turn inward for our answers and to be guided by our own inner wisdom, because that will definitely show our children that happiness does not lie outside of themselves, it lies within. And that way they don't get caught up in this in this battle that I know some of us have gotten caught up in.
SPEAKER_02If unless I do this, this, this, you know, then be this way or look this way or have these friends.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. And so, what's the message we want to give our children is you are enough as you are. You were created with such genius and such capacity, and it's really left untapped. Yeah. So start tapping into it. Yeah. Because you get one life. What you do without your life is totally up to you. Make it worthwhile and find those pockets of joy in the journey because they're there.
SPEAKER_02You know, um, I've many times said my parents did the best they could with what they had at the time. And as my mother, I just shared this with an uh I was being interviewed yesterday, and um, she asked. About, you know, as my mother was nearing the end. And you know, when you when you start living with someone on a regular basis who is knows they're nearing the end, it is a very different experience. And fortunately, the personal growth that I went through throughout my life was just very disruptive in my family. And it caused my parents to actually pay attention, say, wait, what are you doing? What's going on? And for my mother, especially to really make some changes. And so, by you know, the last few years of her life, she really got that sense of what brings me joy's right joy right now, what is going to bring my family joy? And, you know, we all have pockets of times when we're angry or when we're frustrated. But she really made that a priority and she really focused on Andrea, how can I make sure that I've said everything I need to say to you? How can I make sure that I've imparted every bit of wisdom to you? How can I make sure that you understand that you are enough? And when we understand as parents that there are things that, especially for the last two years, you know, I've got a middle schooler and, you know, and he has ADHD. And so all of that was new to us. But the pandemic with him being home for virtual school and then all the seventh graders being back in the building, there's been a lot of challenges this year. Middle school is hard enough already. Seventh grade, I think, stinks for everybody. I told my husband, I said, I'm about to post on Facebook, does somebody have a seventh grade survival guide? I need it. But um, but at the same time, understanding that as an adult, even though I have to do the hard work, the hard work is mine and it's good work. And if I do the hard work, my son will have less hard work to do. It doesn't mean there won't be hard work for him. It doesn't mean that everything that he experiences won't affect him. It doesn't mean that I make all the perfect choices. But knowing that I can make those hard decisions really makes a difference. So I'm eager to check out your book and and talk about it. Cause and I talked about earlier uh before we started recording. I love the idea that I approach my approach for people is through optimism and hope, and yours is through joy. And I'm like, that is a perfect pairing. I need to write my book, I need to write my book, and we'll go on a combo book tour. So that would be so awesome. Maximal leadership all the way. Um, so let's actually go all the way back. You've talked a little bit about being a young girl, you've talked about being an achiever. And one of the things that I love talking to women about when we get their leadership story is what is your earliest leadership memory, right? So if you were that much of an achiever, surely there's something in your early childhood or teenage years that you can look back on and say, you know what, I may not have noticed that, but that was an early leadership memory for me.
SPEAKER_00Do you have one? I do. And the one that's popping up, I was actually featured in chapter two of the book. And most people thought this was truly a sign of a leader. I had been invited to the homecoming dance by a boy in my class, which never really happened because I was always the outsider. I wasn't, I truly didn't fit in with my peers. I got it. And totally, and I I was so excited. I I came home and you know, my mom had seen me come home crying since the eighth grade because I'd been bullied extensively. And so here we are in my 10th grade year, and and I get invited. And so we start making plans, we get the perfect dress, you know. In those years, we needed aquina to get the hair up, you know, that kind of stuff. And two days before the dance, he pulls out and he says, Um, I can't take you to the dance, my grandmother's sick. But the truth was, he had invited another girl to the dance, and um, it was devastating because the whole school knew. And when he tells me everybody's eyes are on me, and the scene I describe in the book is of like hearing the the, you know, the the sisters cackling in your mind, you know, like, you know, like look, everybody's watching you, everybody knows. And I held it together because I didn't want the bullies to have another way at me. Yeah. And so when I get into my mom's car that afternoon, I just break down crying. And she listens to me. She's such a wonderful hero. She emerges as the hero in the story in chapter two, and she listens and she says, Okay, so you have two choices as far as I'm concerned. You can either invite another boy to the dance and go and put on your beautiful dress that you already got and go to that dance and have the time of your life and face your beliefs. Or you can stay home and become their victim. She said, But either way, I'm going to love you and support you. So that was awesome.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00And I thought about it, you know, because my mom had an enormous amount of influence on me, and she's always been part of my inner circle. And I thought, and I said, Well, well, who do you suggest I take? Because I don't know who to invite at this stage. And she said, Well, I had an idea, and and she called a good friend, and he was four years older than me, you know, so he's already oh, so he's so he's a college boy.
SPEAKER_02This is clout.
SPEAKER_00So college boy comes in and he has a girlfriend, but the girlfriend tells him, Danny, you need to take her because she needs to face those bullies. And she, you know, women empowering women. I think it's the beautiful story, you know. And so he takes me and he goes, You're gonna have the time of your life. And you know, when I faced my bully, because he was there with the date, we've uh met each other in the photography line. And I turned to him, and in front of everyone, I said, So, how's your grandmother doing? Oh, yeah. So a lot of people, a lot of people think, Well, is that really a leadership story? And it is because you you you are faced with a dilemma of sorts, and leaders get felt we get dealt dilemmas like these controversial things, and it's how they come across on stage and how they face the fire and they face it with integrity and they face it with dignity and grace, and you're not you know doing the low blows because I didn't do a low blow, I simply stood my ground and it felt great to do. Did it stop the bullying? No, but the purpose of the story is to share you always have choices in life. Yep, sometimes those choices aren't the greatest, but they are a choice, and either you step fully into the person that God created you to be, or you become a victim. And I'll tell you one thing, I was a victim for a long time until I wasn't. And until I wasn't, until I wasn't, until I made the choice enough. You know, I've dealt enough with my pain. My pain is part of my journey, but it is not my entire journey. It is just part of it. It has equipped me with the lessons that God needs me to learn in order to apply them for whatever's coming next. Yeah, you know, in my journey. And that's how I've I've, you know, a lot of the book is is is dealt with like what lessons did God equip me and how as tough as they were to learn, you know, like in in chapter, I think this is chapter two, I am courageous, you know, to have the courage to face people and to stand your ground and to be in your own power and in your own light. It takes courage to do that. And and how did courage help me later on in my life? Yeah, it was always at the end of my chapters of this is how courage tell me. So, as tough as it was, I was able to apply it in this scenario and this scenario and this scenario, and look where I'm at now. So if I can do it, so can you. That's really much the moral and the gist of the story is to empower parents to like, you can do this, and you can do this with joy, and you have choices. And so that's my earliest memory. So I hope I answered your question.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I like it. Well, because what I hear too, it's not just courage. I hear that it built a little bit of your confidence and it built, it built your relationship with your mother because even though she's always been in your inner circle, that was just one more piece that you said, okay, I'm listening to my mom. She's got a good point. Because you know, 10th grade girls don't always listen to their moms. And I don't know that I always did. And um, you know, so I hear a lot of things in there and knowing who you are, I always want to know how these earliest memories shape your mindset. And it sounds like the courage of that and the confidence of that has shaped your mindset as to who you are today in a way that is very clear. And it sounds like you've articulated it well enough that you're like telling other people and you've put it in a book. So I think that's a beautiful story. It's a perfect story to share. Yeah. Um, so how does this compare with the moment when you realize that you really are a leader and this is the mission that you wanted to travel? Um, because you've told us a little bit about your Easter 2012 story and how it really changed the shifts that you went through and um all of that. Does that pretty much encompass and your your call to say, you know what? Because that's kind of how I did John Maxwell as well. Um, a friend shared it with me and I had no idea what she meant. I had no idea what she was talking about. And so then um when she actually, when I actually it dawned on me, I actually called, like I actually called John Maxwell team myself, just like out of the blue. And they're like, have you, did someone refer you? And I'm like, oh yeah, there was this, you know, girl. And it's, you know, to be invited into the John Maxwell team, you you kind of you kind of need an invitation. You can just call, but you kind of need an invitation. And they want people, they they just establish this um amazing faculty of people that will teach you and train you. And the person that invites you in and refers you to them is a little bit like your initial teacher and trainer. And um, so for me, I just didn't even realize that that was what I was being invited into. So for me, it was still like a good six or eight months later. You it said it was two years, but um how long did it take that transition for to happen for you to say, you know what, this is really what I want to do?
SPEAKER_00Was that a couple of years or it really honestly, it was very a very slow drip. Right. Because every piece of my journey has been turning inward and trusting what God is putting me on the path to do. It was the same thing with the book. The book had been placed in my like plant, he planted the seed 13 years ago, but my perfectionist ways got in the way. Is it was never the perfect time. I was afraid of failing because what if people didn't read it? And what if, what if, what if, what if? And I was always a very anxious person, and so that kind of took the dialogue inside my head. So the slow drip started really truly the moment I decided to trade off my multiple award-winning career in sales and just transition into stay at home. And the more I stayed silent, the more patient I became in his timing, the more because I have no patience. I will disclose that right now. That is that is an area of improvement for me, an area of development for sure. And I'm I'm an action person. I need it now. Like that, that's that's my personality. And I I want things to happen on my timing. But as we deal with our inner source of wisdom, we realize that it's never on our timing, it's on his timing because we are part of a master plan and he needs to put all the pieces together first. And sometimes that takes a year here, two years over here, you know, and everything tends to line up. The way he sees it is the way you are meant to abundantly experience it. And if we try to do it our way, we're gonna take at least I tried to do it my way, and it took a longer detour to joy. It's just a long detour. Isn't that always the way it goes?
SPEAKER_02Without, you know, without going down a rabbit, without going down a rabbit hole, because we could probably talk this as well. Because you know, I'm a disc consultant with Maxwell Leadership. And um, what it do you know your disc type?
SPEAKER_00I am an I and a D. I used to be a C. It changed dramatically when I was at Pfizer. I was a C D and very high C, very little D. And now it's switched around to more of an I D, which I thought was interesting because I I always clashed with the I's because it's right across the way from the C's. They don't really see I to eye.
SPEAKER_02Here's another point of of familiarity for us. I geek out on this stuff, but I'm an I'm an I C D. So um, but when you said you were impatient, I'm like, oh, she's an I. And um, but all of the action stuff, I'm like, she's an ID. She's probably an ID. Um, but that Pfizer and that achiever kind of pulled that detail need out in you. So um that was that's so interesting. Um, yeah, for me, I I joke and I say, you know, the the D-I-S-C, the S is the teamwork person. And I I joke and say, I am the epitome of a non-team player because I have everything but the team. So um you are the team, maintaining. Yeah, the one-woman team. I am, yeah, I tend to do a lot on my own. So let's pivot into talking about actual leadership. And um, is there a leadership principle by which you kind of live and like on a daily basis? This is the one principle that I would say is my leadership principle that I live by every day.
SPEAKER_00For me, of all the things he's ever written about, the one thing that always uh spoke true to me were the two laws that he discussed in the 15 invaluable laws of personal growth. Because that book to me is is invaluable.
SPEAKER_02That's great.
SPEAKER_00And it's a fabulous foundation. Yeah. The law of the rubber band and the law of reflection are my two laws that I are foundational for the way I operate in my life. And for those that are not familiar with this one, let's go through it, right? Um, yeah, give us a little synopsis. And so the law of reflection is basically allowing reflecting daily, like pick a spot in your house, outside, wherever it is. I like to go outside because that's how I connect to God in nature. And I reflect daily. I'll ask myself the hard questions of what did I learn today? Why did I get triggered? What happened here? And the more I reflect and turn inward for my answers, the more growth happens. Because we know that the law of reflection is you have to allow growth to catch up to you. Because sometimes we're go, go, go, go. We're action-oriented women, and we forget that it's in that silence and it's in that space that you find the answers that you're seeking. So that is core for me. The law of the rubber band is a one I love to coach on. And I always grab actual rubber bands to coach on this. Me too. I stretch the rubber band and I put one end by my chin and one further out. And I say the law of the rubber band is basically that tension that you create between your comfort zone or where you are at today versus where you need to be to step fully into where, into that space that God created you to be. That that genius, gifted space where you're serving humanity, that's the capacity zone. And the tension in between is what the goals and the action steps that are gonna get you there. Right. You know, that's into that space because there is no there, we know there is no there. Then you're from that space, you're gonna pull the rubber band again, and there's gonna be another capacity zone because we're constantly growing, we're constantly becoming that best version of ourselves. And the more we do that at a global scale, the more our the whole of humanity benefits. Yeah. Because when we're all operating at that high level, at the level in that space where we're not operating, we are operating from love and from joy and from blessing and from gratitude, it expands, right? And it keeps expanding and it catches fire almost in a very good way.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00The victim, the security seeker, you know, all these patterns of behavior that we're all guilty of working out in ourselves, then we we stay stuck. And that's why people stay stuck in these circumstances and they don't see beyond that because that's all they focus on.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. And one of the things I love about the rubber band is that it's not useful when it has no tension. Um, it just flops around. And my son thinks they're really cool and loves to collect them in his room, but they they're interesting, but they're only useful when they are stretched. And you know, when we look at that as a principle, when we are when we say, I am more useful when I am stretched. And you can stretch further than capacity, and then you you break, but most of the time we don't. And um, what we what we neglect to do is stretch to capacity, right? And you know, I loved that idea of setting the goals that we set are the ones that get us to that capacity. And it may be that we re-stretch that rubber band, or it maybe we start with a small rubber band, and then we get a bigger one, and then we get a bigger one. And I love doing that because I spent again 20 almost 25 years in medical work and it was medical research. And my very first NIH grant that we turned in was, you know, like five inches deep paper, and we did 40 copies of that, and we had to drive it down to Bethesda, Maryland from Baltimore. So, you know, those kind of rubber bands that are the the ones for the big stacks of paper, those are the really fun ones.
SPEAKER_00Oh, I know. I use them in speeches. I've I've used them in speeches.
SPEAKER_02Like, okay, can somebody like can somebody else pull this for me? Yeah, because my arms are not long enough. Um, but surely I know that reflection that is an actual habit. So that is something that you you put in. And anybody that knows me, I have my rhythms of reflection. It's a constant thing on a daily, weekly, monthly, quarterly, yearly basis. And my group is built on that, that structure. But is that your the the one habit that you would say is the one thing that keeps you focused on your goals, or is there another habit that you practice?
SPEAKER_00I practice that, but it's it does incompass that as well. I mean, I do a lot of self-care that plays into that because as women, we tend to take on, at least I know I have, all of the responsibility of our household plus the jobs that we carry. And if we don't take care of ourselves first, and we don't put on the oxygen masks like everybody talks about, yeah, then we can't be there 150%. So, what do I incorporate for myself is those pockets of time where I focus on my inner, you know, meditation, whether it be my emotional uh state or my physical state, I'll go work out at 5:30 a.m. and come back and I'm ready to go. Like I'm ready to put one foot in front of the other and whatever comes my way, whatever curveball is sent my way, I'm going to be fit enough physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually to take that circumstance and shift it around to where it doesn't um where I detach from the negativity of the circumstance and focus solely on what am I learning from this? How am I going to apply this later? And but the self-care part is so important. And I think most of us forget that piece because we get so caught up in everything we have to do, and we forget about us primarily. And when you think of self-love and self-care, from that space, everything lines up when you take care of yourself first.
SPEAKER_02So, would you say in the morning you do like a physical workout and some kind of meditation? And or is that like each day? It's a journaling. It's everything. Some journaling. Okay, every day. Um, so these are habits that y'all that are listening, this is not new. This is proven over and over and over. This is my routine. I do my my study, my journaling, my workout every single day. I do give myself off on Sundays for a workout, but other than that, I do something every single day. It it matters, you know. It's just having it's like doing a tune-up every day.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. And I love the way you put it. It puts you, it gives you the preparation you need for that day for whatever comes your way. Yeah, I think that's beautiful. That's beautiful. So, Sylvia, on here, we we love to share with our listeners green flags for how they can, yeah, I know, instead of red flags, right? It's like we're always you talked earlier about we hear negative all the time. And our kids hear no, no, no, no, no, all the time. And kids with ADHD hear it more than others. So we want to kind of Do positive opposites around here and tell people what to look for in themselves if they want to kind of take that joy journey or maybe even become that kind of a leader to teach other leaders, right? Um, however, you would want to approach it. What are some green flags in another woman's life? What should she look for?
SPEAKER_00She should look for those moments where you get so inspired. You know, the moments that your heart and your soul feel this immense pull towards because that's your inner wisdom guiding you. That is the things you've been praying about, that you've been thinking about, and now they're in full alignment. Those are the moments that you really need to pay very close attention to. Okay. When you feel, and everybody knows when they feel a certain pull and it feels right to them. Um at times, I actually talked about this with a friend the other day because she was contemplating like starting dating after she lost her husband. And she says, I don't, I don't know how to do this. And I said, Well, I said, Do you remember the time when when you felt a pull to start working again and you were your husband was still alive? And it almost seemed like everything was lining up in your favor. And those are the moments that you need to tap into when you are going through those major changes and you start and that doubt wants to show up because it's part of your programming. And if you've programmed it for 40 years, it will show up, it's rearing its ugly head. So tune and tap into those moments in your life where everything seemed to be falling into place in your favor and take the energy from that moment and put it into the space that you're in now and work with that energy and remind yourself daily. I've been here before and I know I'm confident I know what to do.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00And I think those moments are so key in our life. And that's where the law of reflection can help you because you're time traveling for reflective purposes only, right? And you're tapping into these spaces where you have proven to yourself that you can do this, you can step into uncertainty with faith, confidence, and joy because you've been there before. You've been equipped, you've been equipped, and now you're there.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, and I I love that. Is that is that the advice piece then, too, is to just tap into those moments? Because I love that how it's real easy for us in those moments where we say, gosh, everything is just lining up. This is like um preparation meets opportunity and serendipity just jumped in front of me. But a lot of times when we're not feeling that way, we don't have the inspiration or the motivation. So is that what you're saying? Is to like even in the times when we don't feel that way, look back at the times when we have to be the inspiration.
SPEAKER_00Yes, because you are your own inspiration. I think most people forget that, that they've been equipped, but we're so gung-ho on like focusing in on where we messed up and the mistakes we made. We forget those wins in our lives. So I want you to time travel to those wins and sit and meditate in that space and remind yourself what were you feeling? What was the elation that winning? And the more you kind of bring yourself up in that space, now you've got the physiology. Now you can stare in the mirror and affirm to yourself, I have been here before and I know what to do. And I will do it again, or I will do this better because I learned. I learned X, Y, or Z. And now this is my chance to do it, and I'm gonna do this even better, you know, and you just push yourself to do that. And those are the green flags that I think most people miss.
SPEAKER_02Um, and sometimes we because we're not focused on how things are lining up, we may not see them lining up and we might miss out, right? So this is where the preparation in that preparation meets opportunity equals luck, right? Um, so this is where the preparation is important because we have to we have to do certain things, right? I I do my exercise, and I'm sure you do yours for Andrea 10 years from now. I don't do my exercise for, I mean, yeah, I get a boost out of it today, but I'm coming off being sick. And so today I'm still a little draggy, even though I exercised. So I do it for five years from now, Andrea, or 10 years from now, Andrea, because I'm an older mom and I want to have energy when my son is in his 20s. But I was like, I know what you mean.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. So I had a baby at 40. So yeah, okay.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. So um we Nathan came home at 43. So um we are. But I don't know that I could have done it physically. I don't know. So I'm impressed. Um so as we wrap up here today, you were telling me earlier that you are putting together masterminds based on your book. And tell us the full name of your book again.
SPEAKER_00So the name of the book is Journey to Me, Trust the Wisdom of Change. And for anyone that's interested in buying it, you can actually email me directly because I'd love to give you an autographed copy of it. And so I'll leave the email with you. You know my email, Andrew. It's all in the show notes. It will all be show notes. And um, and you, you know, it's a it's a book that that really will give you coaching tips and traps and some journaling prompts because that's a big thing for me. And that I taught in each chapter. And so I pulled scripture where lessons were were being taught. And then I had uh a journaling prompt and some meditation to to incorporate with that.
SPEAKER_02So excellent. And so what we'll do is I will make sure that the email is in the the show notes and people can get a copy of your book from you then. But this summer um you will be starting not far from now, um, masterminds based on your book. And they're gonna be called Joy in the Journey Masterminds. And tell us a little bit about that.
SPEAKER_00Okay, so Joy in the Journey, there are always pockets of joy in the journey, no matter what you're navigating, kind of changes you're navigating in life. And so the way I want to structure the each mastermind, they're not gonna be more than six to seven people uh in them because I want them to be intimate groups where accountability is going to be a big predominant factor of it. And we're gonna pick the chapters that most resonate with the group because each chapter reveals different turning points that are going on. So if we're talking about divorce, people, women or men who have been divorced and they're navigating those chapters in their life, then definitely chapter five and six are gonna be included in the in the joy in the journey mastermind. And for sure, chapter four and chapter one, because chapter one gives us a foundational piece, some formulas that I incorporated in my own life to uproot those belief systems that we you and I both know are at the core of why we act the way we act in life. And until we understand what those are, we can't really move through life joyfully. Because our ego mind is going to be going back to those continuously until we take them out of there. And so chapter one and chapter four, and chapter four gives you the blueprint of how you can take a turning point and move all the way through to your soul identity so that you are understanding what um what characteristics, what your minds, both minds are doing, what to look for, who to surround yourself with, how to tap into that inner source of wisdom that you have, and and to start truly listening for it so that you yourself can take yourself on your own journey back to yourself, the person that God created you to be. That's why it's called journey to me, because we start off as a child, we get modeled, our ego mind starts to take form, right? And we start operating from that space and we forget until we have this major turning point, and then we start shifting our lives back again into the space of who do I need to be and how do I need to be fully alive? So each joy in the journey is going to be a little bit different depending on the turning point we're discussing.
unknownOkay.
SPEAKER_02So um, and you said that uh they'll be coming out this summer, so you'll be um advertising those, and we will hopefully have something to put in the show notes that tells um how they can sign up for those because you're offering a 20% discount to all of our listeners with just the the code Optimist. And so we'll make sure that we have all of that in the show notes. And um, I'm I'm sure that will be phenomenal. They sound like wonderful, intimate groups that um can be curated perfectly to really dig dig down and find some things that they can work on as they walk through the book. Um that sounds great.
SPEAKER_00So, where's the best place to find you? Uh, the best place is really via my email. And I can certainly um I mean it's a long email. I guess it has to I'll put it in the show notes if you can guess just to email me.
SPEAKER_02Just to email me.
SPEAKER_00Somebody says, just email me. Just email me. I think it's the easiest because yeah, you can find me on my webpage, but I or LinkedIn. Actually, LinkedIn is the best place to find me because I respond immediately, and that's where you can see the the gist of my work and how people have reacted to me. If you're looking to work with me or want to buy my book, everything's on my LinkedIn page. So okay.
SPEAKER_02Well, before we shut everything down here today, the last question that we ask all of our guests is what is the one thing that you can be optimistic about, even when others think you are absolutely crazy? And everything from silly to profound, it's a total you.
SPEAKER_00For me, it's really that to seek and find joy is just everywhere. Joy is everywhere. It's in a lingering embrace or a lingering kiss. It's everywhere, it's in this conversation, you know. And those pockets of joy are available for you to just sit and relish in daily.
SPEAKER_02Oh, that's beautiful. I'm so excited that we've met. I am so excited to call you a friend, and I am excited to see where you will go with this and how you will affect more and more people, and how more will find joy in their journey as they come back to themselves and and as they strip down the things that they no longer need and truly enjoy who they've been created to be. Thank you so much, Sylvia. I appreciate you. Thank you. Have a fabulous day, you too. So I didn't oversell it, did I? You know, when you're given a second chance, it changes you. Some of us can find that pivot point in another major life event, but if it's you, that's big. It's like my dad always says, when it's raining on you, the chance of rain is always a hundred percent. Sylvia's desire to find joy every single day and then completely change her life and career to do just that and share it with others is truly inspirational. There are so many things to celebrate about her story, but what I really want to do right now is point out how Sylvia exemplifies the tenets of intentional optimism. I do this for every guest because we all live unique and different lives, and while what we do is different, intentional optimism is how we do what we do. It's the attitudes and mindsets that we employ and embody to live out our own goals and dreams with excellence. And we always start with optimistic. Sylvia's perspective shifts are so important to her story. Just being willing to see things from a new perspective makes such a difference in your optimism. Her reflection practice is a beautiful example of tapping into that grown-up wonder that keeps us grounded in the present moment and makes us more present for those around us. Joy, of course, is her focus in every single thing. And in the tentative energetic, we tap into that joy and allow it to bubble over to everyone else as we share our energy with them. Sylvia spoke of how courage shows up for her in both staying consistent in the things that she needs to keep her prepared for anything that might come her way, and we call that being undaunted. Now, some of Sylvia's wisdom has been hard won. Just living through some of her experiences has taught her that things are truly bigger than just what we can see, and she uses that to encourage others. And the intentionality with which Sylvia approaches her own growth is evidence of understanding her purpose, as is the joy with which she nurtures growth in others. Sylvia is unconventional in her leadership because her passion to help you find joy in every circumstance is a reflection of her core values of beauty, wonder, and growth, which make her a great role model for all who are willing to become the very best version of themselves in order to teach, train, or parent the next generation to be everything they can be. Unconventional leaders lead at every level, in any area, using their unique gifts. Did Sylvia's story inspire you? Have you been on a personal growth journey and find you're at the next step but not quite sure how to proceed? Maybe you need the support of a community where you can dream, grow, experiment and explore with group coaching, teaching, encouragement, and gentle accountability. Then you need launch from the beach. Or have you been listening to me for nearly two years, heard me interview other Maxwell leadership team coaches, and are wondering if that might be a direction for your future? Well, I have an opportunity for you. I invite you to message me and let's talk. Training is available, and we need more women like you stepping up to coach, train, and role model for the next generation. To learn more about Sylvia and to be in touch with her, you can check all of her information out in the show notes. And if you need to speak with me or hop on my calendar for a 30-minute consultation, all of mine is there too. Let's get you a strategy in place. Until next time. Hey, thanks for spending your precious time with us today. If you love this podcast and find it to be uplifting and helpful, follow us or subscribe, then please take a moment and leave a review in one of those amazing five-star ratings. You can also snap a screenshot right where you listen, share it to social media, and tag me. This helps others find us and will have an even bigger impact. If you're curious what it would be like to work more closely with me, or to step up as an unconventional leader yourself, schedule a free discovery session in WorldChat. Maybe you're an entrepreneur looking for a support team. I'd like to personally invite you into my collaborative community, launch from the beach. It could be just what you're looking for. All of my contact information and all of the links are included in the show notes. And don't forget you can always connect with other intentional optimists in our Facebook community. You can follow my Facebook or Instagram page, or even connect with me on LinkedIn. Additionally, I invite you to subscribe to my newsletter, Optimistic Living. It's good stuff delivered straight to your inbox on a not so strict schedule, but always from the heart. Remember, unconventional leaders lead at every level, in any area, using their unique gifts. And you, my friend, are a leader. You are the future of leadership and the role models for future generations. Until next time.
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