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Stand Tall & Own It
Something shifted. You can feel it. You just can't name it yet.
Stand Tall & Own It is for women in the second half of life who are high-functioning on the outside and quietly disoriented on the inside. You built your life inside systems you trusted completely — until you realized you couldn't tell what was actually yours from what you'd just learned to navigate well.
Host Andrea Johnson doesn't offer formulas. She offers honest thinking, sharp observation, and the kind of conversation that makes you pull over and sit in your driveway.
This is where the real work starts.
Stand Tall & Own It
Episode 110 - Upside Your Business & Your Life, with Lisa Marie Platske
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Lisa Marie Platske is an award-winning certified master coach, leadership expert, speaker, and international best-selling author recognized by the White House and Small Business Administration. Her mission is to transform lives through leadership by teaching mission-driven and service-based entrepreneurs, consultants, and corporate leaders how to live out their big mission in the world.
Topics discussed in this episode:
Leadership Principle:
The world needs you and your brilliance. The fire inside, the light inside, the brightness inside, that is yours, the world needs. It’s not just for you - it’s for everyone else.
Habits to consider:
- Keep your Core Values close by.
- Get out and walk each day to stay present and focused on what matters most.
- S.N.A.P. (stop, notice, ask, pause/pray/pivot)
- Make sure there is enough play in the day.
Green Flags:
- The best way to know if you’re ready to move forward is to get still (in whatever works for you), and listen.
- Listen to find any patterns in what you hear or sense.
Advice:
Vulnerability isn’t something you do, it’s being honest with yourself about who you ARE. So, get to know YOU. Then you’ll be able to make decisions and take action based on who YOU are.
Where to find Lisa Marie:
Website: Upside Thinking ™ | Upside Your Business & Your Life
Facebook: Lisa Marie Platske
LinkedIn: Lisa Marie Platske
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You're listening to Intentional Optimists, the podcast for unconventional leaders, where you'll find inspiration, learn to discover and develop your own strengths, and care for inspiring women just like you who are making a difference in their community. Who knows? You just might find yourself stepping up as the next unconventional leader right where you are. I'm your host, Andrea Johnson, the original intentional optimist. Welcome to episode 110. What do you think it takes to be a good leader? Or how about if we rephrase it this way? What characteristics do you think you need for people to respect you as a leader? Is it poise, professionalism, whatever that means anymore, command, respect, position, accolades? Well, on this podcast, you hear over and over, interview after interview, that none of those things make you a good leader. And today's guest, Lisa Marie Platsky, has all of them. She's an award-winning leadership expert in human behavior with a job history that includes things like the FBI and Homeland Security. Talk about accolades. But she takes us right to the heart of what it means and what it takes to make you a good leader. And don't think for a second that I'm going to spoil it here in the intro. You will be touched by her story of resilience and persistence and inspired by her commitment to what it takes to become and grow as a great leader. Meet my new friend, Lisa Marie Platzkey. Hey there, Lisa Marie. Welcome to the show.
SPEAKER_02Hello, hello. Andrea, so glad to be here. Thank you. Thanks for having me.
SPEAKER_00I am excited about this. You have such an amazing story. And as of course, you know, all podcasters say, before we started recording, we were talking about all these different points of commonality that we have, down to um the different places we've lived and where you are now. I've spent many a day in, and I still have friends in that town. So I am excited to kind of compare stories and hear yours and get some really good um information for a lot of women listening who may not have the same story as me because our backgrounds are so different, even though we have a lot of touch points that are similar, aren't they?
SPEAKER_02I'm looking forward to it. I I really am. And I love that there's there's the the the synchronicities that bring people together in your life. And that's I feel that this is a divine connection and meeting.
SPEAKER_00Absolutely. So for those who have not heard of you or researched you or looked and seen all of the stuff that you have out there, um, give us just a brief understanding of your story and then kind of maybe what you do right now that is uh unconventional, even though I know like everything you do is unconventional. But give us give us a brief update.
SPEAKER_02So uh the story, uh you know, I I I can't not start my story uh without mentioning, you know, me as a as a little girl, because that's really what has me do the work that I'm doing today, as crazy as that sounds. Uh, you know, growing up and in a in a uh household with such a uh a formidable woman as as my mom, who who was a single mom and raised my sister and I to be strong and independent and think for ourselves is what allows me to run the business that I have today. And after growing up with being the one that called the police for domestic violence incidents and and truly was uh forced to grow up at a very, very quickly, it it also, as much as back then I I I you know there was a painfulness to it, it it gave me resilience and and taught me about strength and taught me about what power really is and what it isn't. And those were the things that allowed me to do very well in my career in banking and in federal law enforcement before opening up my leadership training, coaching and consulting business about eight, almost 18 years ago. And so uh that's what I do today. And I have the the what I would say, the the the honor, the privilege of working with leaders, much like yourself, working with leaders, you know, that's that's who we you know, that's who we attract, that's who we not that they don't always call themselves that, but that's that's really who they are in their in their essence. It is the honor and privilege of working with leaders who, for me, you know, they're they're my people are the people who are looking for living out their divine mission, their divine purpose, their uh many of them have experienced success, and what they're looking for is significance, what they're looking for is impact, what they're looking for is meaning. So it's it's not that success has been elusive. It's been that, you know, what's my what's my next piece here in my God-given mission? And uh, I never wanted that, you know. Andrea, I didn't want that at all. I mean, I I say that that story started as a little girl, but for me, you know, I wanted to be rewarded for being someone who was smart and somebody who was, you know, well accomplished. And and so I did not want to be somebody who played in the uh in the right brain side of life, where we're talking about God with business. And yet that's that's really what I'm called to do. And much like that little girl was who had to have the the fortitude to make some very difficult decisions.
SPEAKER_00Um, you know, whenever we think we we see someone's public persona and we think we know um what they stand for and where they come from, we don't. And you know, we don't know the story that gets them to where they are. We don't know, um, we were joking earlier about perseverance and um even just finding internet service. And um and and even the things that build resilience in our lives, right? That's um that's the kind of story that unfortunately I think a lot of women can relate to. Um, and I'm blessed to not have that in my history, but to be able to say, this is what has built resilience in my life, and then to be able to say, I've been successful and I love this difference between the success and significance. Having impact and meaning is very different from having quote unquote success. Um, and I am give me just a little bit more. Your your company is called Upside Thinking, and give us just a little bit more of how your story has kind of played into that and what you do for leaders right now. And I I'm sorry I have to also point out that I loved the comment about they may not recognize their leaders when they come to us. Yes. How do you help develop them?
SPEAKER_02Yes, yes. I I don't know that people necessarily always use that egoic label, and yet, you know, leadership is is uh is is so much about influence and about whether or not people pause to listen to what you have to say and whether they take that to heart. And I find that there are many uh women and men that that have people think and pause and take note, take notice of, and yet they don't necessarily see it in themselves. And so so this this journey and opening the business is that I when I left law enforcement, Andrea, I didn't I didn't have anybody in my in my family history that owned a business. I didn't, you know, sometimes people have stories where they know somebody or they've met somebody and that inspires them, or they they are looking to do it on themselves, do you know, have this such a such a um a burning desire to be able to create something on their own. And I didn't have either, you know, I didn't have those were not that was not my story. And I love you mentioning about you know the the well, you you didn't have that piece of the story, and yet it doesn't mean that you don't have something else that created the resilience piece in you. And so I I I I realize how important that is, that every story, regardless, you know, what the uh everybody gets challenges and they just look different. And so for me, when I was in this place of of ultimately marriage, I I was in law enforcement, I had a successful career, I climbed the ladder, I was there in 9-11 and um you know received another promotion and another promotion to then work with outside consultants to develop curriculum for the Department of Homeland Security. And I was dating this man that I sat next to uh at a training, and he proposed. And it was one of those things where Henry I said, you know, I don't want a serious relationship. He said, Good, I don't want a serious relationship. You know, you're later, right? Right. It was just so funny. And um, and he wasn't even sure I would say yes. I mean, which God love my husband, you know, just he was he really wasn't. He called his friends and he was like, she said yes. And I was like, You didn't think I would. And he goes, I knew with you I had a 50-50 chance. So, you know, he just gotta you gotta love that, which is uh, which says a whole lot about me. And and you know, and so here I was going, okay, so now I'm aware that I live in Texas. My husband lives in California, and we both have these very separate yet connected lives. And that's not the independence that my mother raised, you know, that she that she that she gave me. And so when I looked at opening a business, it was because I couldn't figure out how people did it all. Andrea, I I couldn't figure out how people could have a career with a competing career with a spouse and and all those hours and then be able to give to the relationship. I couldn't figure it out. And so when I started to look at, well, what would I do that would give me freedom and fun and flexibility and allow me to contribute? Working on my own seemed like the best, best avenue. I will tell you, I was 3,000 miles away from my closest friend or family member. I didn't know anybody who knew business. And what if I knew now, I'm not sure if I would have taken the journey because it is like a huge journey of personal and professional development to be a business owner. Yes, and there are things nobody can tell you like until you're in it, right? Like there's like you learn, which is the reason why I have mentors and the reason why I've hired coaches and the reason why I've, you know, to shorten that. How and that's what led me to the work that I do today because I wanted a shortcut. I went, okay, so how do people do it? So I started to research and interview business owners, people who are successful, people who are accomplished, people who who who had been there before. And in all of these informational interviews, I came up with seven pillars of leadership. And these seven pillars of leadership are what I teach at my upside summit, they're what I actually give to people in my leadership coaching programs, they're what I walk people through in my in my uh when I'm doing keynotes on stage. So those seven pillars have really been the foundation. And then several years later, I went back and said, okay, and what do the top 0.01% do? And there were three elements. And so that really has been the foundational parts. And then, much like you, you know, there are assessments and there are tools and there are things that support that in the research because leadership is both science and art. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Oh, this is I'm like, I'm all fired up now. I mean, it's like, yeah, let's go. Um, this is so why don't you really quick, we will be doing a guest speaker series with you, and um, you can potentially walk us through those seven pillars, but why don't you tell us what those seven things are really quick?
SPEAKER_02I'd love to. I would love to. And the seven pillars all start with P. Okay. So I like things that make it easy. And in the government, you know, we have a lot of acronyms and things. Absolutely. They all start with P. And so um I will give you what they are first, and then I'll give you each one has a sentence. Okay. So uh, so so the first one is plan, the second one is personality, the third one is partnership, the fourth one is priority, the fifth one is presence, the sixth one is progress, and the seventh one is personal and professional development. And so number one is to start with a written plan, begin with the end in mind. Number two is understand your personality. Number three is create powerful partnerships. Number four is live your priority, not priorities, priority. Make that real clear. Number five is create a meaningful and memorable presence. And there are three components to presence in priority. There are actually seven components to that. There's various, you know, each one has a breakdown, five elements to a written plan. It's very, very specific. Um, all research designed. And number six is evaluate your progress, and this is where profit lies, and this is a daily practice. Uh uh, and number seven is uh invest in personal and professional development. And investing in personal and professional development is one where I will find that some people are really heavy on the industry specific, and some people are really heavy on you know doing things for themselves personally, and it's really it's it's about the the both and right, it's not it's not just one.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, it's a Venn diagram, right? It's like nothing and and or a spider web. It's like nothing happens without touching something else.
SPEAKER_02Exactly.
SPEAKER_00And um, so when you said we had a lot in common, boy, do we? And um, you're right. And even down to how we like present our our our tenets or our principles or or our pillars, we we think evidently we think alike, Lisa Marie. It's just it's beautiful. We do, we do. Because you have to have something that makes sense, but then you have to have the way to explain it all. So I'm excited to learn more about these in our guest speaker series where you can kind of like flesh that out a little bit. But we will of course have stuff in the show notes where people can find you and um get into a little bit more of an understanding of exactly what you teach. Um, so I'm excited. So it sounds like the why for you is very much in the same avenue as as mine. It's that you want to help other people accomplish what you have accomplished. Is that even close?
SPEAKER_02I I do, I do. And for me, when I one of the parts that I recognized it was actually a a recent within the last, I would say, you know, year and a half. Much, and and this is one of the things which was a similarity that I had read in your story. My mom was someone who was, in fact, it'll it'll move me to tears. Um my mom was someone who um you know grew up in an era where the expectation was that she had choices to be a teacher, a nurse, or a librarian. And um, and really her her biggest option was to be a home the the biggest success would be to be a home to a home um maker. And um I saw how my mom um gave up a lot to uh to be a to to raise children and did not necessarily fully use all of her gifts, abilities, talents, and experiences in the way that she that she could have. And for me, I look at it as we each have a divine mission and purpose, some reason why we're here on the planet. It's not a chance, it's not, there's not, I don't believe it's an accident that you and I are connecting right now, today, for this purpose, for this reason. Right. And so I look at it as there are many people who they don't fully live out, they they they even almost say that they're doing what they're to do, and yet there's something else that's burning inside that they're so scared to step out and and to and to take action on. Um and so that's the part for me where there are things even for myself that I'm challenging over the course of the next year that are that I'm going to be doing that are things that I understand that are mine to do, that I have been putting off. And so to have other people step into what is theirs to do. Um, I'm I'm thinking about you know um, you know, a client of mine who had was, you know, has had this dream of buying this island and changing the face of healthcare and is now very close to that happening. Wow. And so those are the kinds of things which is can you take something like that that seems so big and almost impossible? And yet, if it wasn't yours to do, you wouldn't have gotten that seed. If it wasn't your purpose, you wouldn't have that. Like I never had that, I never had the thing to buy an island. I it's not a you know, it's not my like not on my list either. No, right? So, and yet if you have that and if you've had that your whole life, you have a duty and a responsibility and obligation to find a way to be able to make that happen because it's yours. You know, I I have a a client who who um you know had had breast cancer and is now creating these these these ways for women to experience health with um pre-like you know, they're like it's like it's like pre-treatment retreats that give all of the information that she should have gotten and didn't. And so I I look at it as like that's yours to do. And I understand that all the things that happened to me are ones that there are things that I haven't spoken about because it seemed scary, or it seemed ridiculous, or it seemed unnecessary, or it seemed um frivolous. And so I'm sorry, I didn't mean to go on so long, Andrea. I just you know that this is the part why it wakes me up is that for me to be a force for good on the planet and to transform lives through leadership so that people can fully live out their God-given purpose on the planet, like that is my responsibility, is to be in that. And it sounds like I really struggle with it. It's really struggle with it.
SPEAKER_00Um well, one of the things that we kind of chatted about before we even met um via email was one of the topics that you address and that you can speak on evidently well, and I you just did a little bit of it, is vulnerability and leadership. And that's something that um, you know, I think we all like to talk about that. Oh, you have to be a vulnerable leader, oh, you have to be authentic. But the real vulnerability is what I see, and you painted a beautiful picture of this something deep down, and we've all we've all experienced it, and we we all know someone in our lives right now that has something going on that is um that they're struggling with saying there's just no way I could ever possibly do that. I can't buy that island and change the phase of healthcare. You know, I mean, it's just it it there's no way to even suspend any belief in any area because it just seems either so hard or so outlandish.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. I mean, that's the part and that's the reason why I'm I'm I'm tearing up. That's why I'm it because it just moves me. It just moves me so much. It makes me cry because I I look at it as that's it. There are people who are sitting at home who have the ability to make the world better, that that have the cure to to ills in the world, and yet the idea that it seems so incredible and so big that how could I do this? And I and that's the part for myself. You know, I sat at dinner, we invited our neighbors over, and I sat at dinner and she said, You are a healer. And I said, No, I'm not. I said, I don't do any healing. I said, I, you know, and and you know, and God is is the healer. And she said to me, You are the vessel. And I'm like, and there's this part of me that wants to deflect that because it sounds so um it sounds so unreasonable. It sounds so, you know, for so, you know, in my head, you know, not and and so you know, when when you speak about that. And and what I what I understand for myself is that years ago, vulnerability was something that you do. You know, it's a box you check, you tell the story, here's the story, it comes in this framework. This is as vulnerable as you get. You pretend to be vulnerable because you said that thing that you practiced 75 times to tell people about something you feel uncomfortable. But there's this level of authenticity that's missing because you yourself haven't explored enough of who you are in order to be able to have an honest conversation with yourself. So if you can't have an honest conversation with yourself, how the heck can you have an honest conversation with your colleagues, with the people who are your clients, with the people who need you? And so you don't get to this work by checking a box or having a checklist or even walking through the seven pillars with um doing it in a very um rote fashion where you're only you know putting in that 70% or even 90%. You know, it requires all of you. And that's why I speak about the discomfort and I speak about the stories, but not from a way of like, oh, well, let's start the podcast off, Andrea, with a vulnerable story, because I don't have that. Like I didn't expect to share what was going to come out of my mouth. I'm just present in the moment to you and I sharing an experience. And that's what that's what leadership is. And that's why people listen to others and and want to follow them because they're so real that, you know, I'm sitting in my truck, I mean, in a tank top, and you're looking gorgeous in your, you know, in your in your um, you know, in my basement business tire in this, you know, beautiful space. And yet it's it's like, can you be can you be all right with that in life and not be um you know, letting that be the barrier that stops you from doing the thing that you're called to do?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah. This is really beautiful. Um, and I think part of the work that we are privileged to do is helping others to see what those things are. I shared recently that I had a client who, you know, we I don't you said something about us having Maxwell in common. Are you a Maxwell leadership?
SPEAKER_02I'm not. I'm not. I just, I just um his his work and his law of the lid, you know, where it's like you can be as motivated, you know, you can, you know, you can you can have all the right things in place, but if you you're you're gonna come up against the your own lid.
SPEAKER_00It's not the glass ceiling, it's your own, it's it's your own awareness. And so literally walking a client through the law of awareness of understanding, I don't know what I don't know. And um, you know, there's other people that talk about that, but through tears, she looked at me and she said, I just I I was so unaware, you know, and it's like now she's getting it. Now she's on the path. Now she can learn how to lead her team in a way that she could not be for. And I love that um that you said, if you cannot be honest with yourself, then you cannot have vulnerability with anyone else. And I think that is the biggest challenge for us today. I think it's it comes down to um all the things that we know we should, woulda, coulda done, all the things that we're supposed to measure up to, all these external measurements of success that we've walked so far down that road that it's just a shock to our system to look in the mirror and get honest. To look in the mirror and say, Oh, I had no idea that that was one of my issues. I had, you know, I had no idea that I, you know, we talked about our mothers. And for the, I think, honest to goodness, for the longest time, I that was an external story for me. It was the story of my mom and how I watched her excel and then overseas and then come home to the United States and become a secretary again, you know. Um, that was the only one thing you didn't mention. It's like what you said, librarian or teacher, or what was the other one you said? Nurse and the other one was a secretary. Secretary, yes, you're right. Um, you know, to watch her and to see all that beauty and then to watch it come all the way back down and listen to her be frustrated, it was an external anger story for me. You know, it was like one of those things that kind of like just got my hackles up. But the growth that has happened in me in the last year or so or two, especially, has taught me so much about what you just said. Your mother sacrificed certain things so that you could. And now I'm gonna cry. Um, being being able to recognize that as my mother knew she was dying, there were certain things that she was very clear she needed to say to me because I think that she was able to see, I want to give Andrea this leg up. And doggone if it didn't take me another three or four years to learn them. Because I am well programmed by this world. I am well programmed by society in this um the success model and this male-dominated all of it, business, law enforcement, not in law enforcement, but you know what I'm talking about. And um, so I think that that's a really big thing for us to remember um that that just showing emotion is not vulnerability.
SPEAKER_02No at all.
SPEAKER_00It's it's being honest um with who you are and being honest with yourself. And there are times when I get real upset about what people think about me. I'm learning to let that go. Um, but I have to remind myself that I have to look in the mirror at the end of the day. Even if it's just to take my contacts out, I have to face this person. Once once I get my contacts out, everything's blurry anyway. But um, so I still have to look myself in the mirror and be able to say, I lived in a way today that lives my purpose, which is to glorify God and help others and be do for the good of others. And I think that's when you can get there and when that's the path that you really want to walk, I think that's when it really happens.
SPEAKER_02I think that's that's the element that you speak about this when you started was self-awareness. And self-awareness in emotional intelligence and in Daniel Goleman's work is the lowest level because you need to then get to self-regulation and you understand all of it. And when I got for myself that I can be as aware about all of these things, and if I don't take action and say, Where am I lying to myself? Where are things not what I'm saying in alignment? Where are the behaviors not in alignment? Then I can't actually create the influence and impact that really is what leadership is about. Right. So I love that you understand, you know, the importance of starting with the self-awareness and then moving into whatever is next. I remember several years ago, I sat down, I could hear the Holy Spirit having me go, Where are you out of alignment? And I made a list of all of the relationships that were out of alignment from when I was 18 on. And it was like, oh, and it was, it was, and what was interesting is like there was one woman who she used to drive me home from school uh every so often. Every once in a while, she'd give me a ride, and uh money was so tight in going to college and it was painful. And I would have this $20 bill in my hand, and I would get out of the car and I would thank her, and I would never give her money for gas. And it was because I was so afraid that I would never wouldn't didn't know where the next $20 would come from that in my scarcity self, I just couldn't part with it. And some of that was behavior that was learned and was trained in me. And so when you speak about, you know, the things that are so ingrained and in, you know, there was this part of me in watching my family that I couldn't do that. And I found her on Facebook and I uh asked her for her address and I sent her money. And um she was like, you know, she I she got she didn't know what I asked her for the address and told her I had something to send her, and she didn't know what it was. And when she messaged me back, she was like, you know, I can't accept this. Um and I said, Yes, you can. And what I'm guessing is that based on who you were then, that you probably do a lot of things for other people, and you don't do a lot of things for you. And so I'm at my ask is that you do at least one thing for yourself, and then if you want to use some of it for you know, for to do for other people, but do one thing for yourself, and then if you want to, you know, buy something for kids or go out to eat with kids or do other things, and so I worked on making those relationships in alignment, um, and there were many, and there were many, and um, and it took a while, and what was interesting about it was I did that because I cannot say that I'm a connector and a lover of people and have relationships that do not match that. So when you are self-aware and you are examining, you cannot say that you are X and behave in Y. And so self-awareness has you look at all of those areas. If you say that you're a great listener, where are the places you know where that's not true? And are you willing to look there? And that is vulnerability. So um thanks for understanding that and and really for the work that you do in in this, because it is is truly my it's it's it's the work that I love. And it's it's not work that is is is often easy for the clients that I work with to be in the process of those seven pillars or the examination. And yet those who stay the course and the journey, I just had two within the last month that got seven-figure contracts that are almost very difficult in their industries. And yet they did it because who they are is so attractive as a leader that they just can't, you know, in their in their healthcare and consulting fields, they just can't help but not attract opportunities, and they were willing to do the difficult work, right? To to get there.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Oh, that's beautiful. And it really kind of speaks to how um when it's real, vulnerability is not something that will make you small. It's not something that will make you weak. It is something that will help you rise kind of above and be seen for because along with vulnerability comes humility, comes those kinds of things. And that's what you need to be and become a good servant leader. And what great stories too to share with even just how we can go back and actually fix some things. I mean, I've had to do a couple of anybody who's been through any kind of 12-step program at all knows that you're gonna do some of that work. And there's a reason why you do that work because we're not perfect and we will break relationships every day. Um, so oh, those are really good. Um, so let's pivot just a little bit. You already shared a little bit about you as a little girl and how um the experiences that you had built your resilience. Um, I love to look at earliest leadership memories. And I'm wondering, would that be one of your earliest leadership memories is being willing to stand up for what needed to be done in those situations?
SPEAKER_02Well, I it's interesting that you mentioned earliest leadership memories because my sister, who is three years younger than me, said, I remember you as in the neighborhood, like gathering all the kids together, and you would make us sit down and then you would teach classes. And I was like, I so don't remember that. Like I don't, I don't remember that. But there was this thing where for me, you know, back then it was being bossy, right? Like being the bossy kid, right?
SPEAKER_01Yes, yes.
SPEAKER_02You know, when we label people because we don't know what to do with their, you know, with their leadership, right? You know, that's how they behave. And so, you know, I look at that and you know, in school, there was, you know, there were, you know, times where there was um, you know, student council and the other uh, you know, other other ways in which I took leadership roles in in a lot of volunteer work. I did a lot, lots and lots of volunteer work. And even when I was in the government, where I would say, okay, let's let's mobilize forces to be able to do this in the community, you know, paint, clean offices, do I love tangible things that you could actually see, you know, the end result at the end of it all, because I I like the the sense of accomplishment. So, you know, so much of so much of of that uh uh has has contributed. And I I don't know that I ever looked at it and said, oh yeah, that's the thing, you know, where where I was a leader. I do find that it it is it goes back to whether or not people listen to you. And I understand that there have been times when I was the loudest voice and people didn't hear me. And there have been times when I am the voice that no matter how you know, right in air quotes, you know, I was, and then there have been times where the being present and being quiet and not saying very much had people do things with me and for me that were monumental, and so leadership, you know, all those earlier memories of gathering people together also taught me around about how not so much the the what you say as much as it is how you're being when you're saying whatever you're saying. That's good.
SPEAKER_00It's who we are. And it it does sound like this is a mindset that you've developed over the years based on some of that stuff.
SPEAKER_02Yes. Yes, and the things I didn't do well to then go, okay, um what do I do? And and how do I ensure that that doesn't happen again? One of the parts that I speak about often in forgiveness and vulnerability and leadership is that you can get something wrong and apologize, and that's not enough. That you have to make restitution, you have to figure out how to make something right, and and that's the difference. That that's what really great leaders, the most effective leaders, do. And so in being vulnerable, you know, you can be vulnerable and say you're sorry, but that's not it's not it's not enough. And and I find like that's one of the things, you know, you mentioned about you you mentioned something earlier about how it's so many other things, you humility and all, you know, all of those other, and that's very true. Uh several years ago, I had a gentleman who ran a private equity company who reached out to me and said, I'd like to see about you sitting on our board and as an advisor. And when I asked him why, he said, I've seen your work, uh, he had seen something that I that I did, and he said, Um the the element around vulnerability and you and you sharing that answers 18 other questions and points for me. And so to your point, Andrea, like when when it's when it's when you actually see it, and it's not an a like, I've done it, I've done vulnerability, but when you actually see it in action, and it really is vulnerability, and not something that somebody has practiced or rehearsed, it answers so many other questions about their leadership style and their capacity to lead and to lead themselves and others well. And so that, you know, that's um right. I I think that's you know, I I I have uh events like an annual conference, and I have several other events that I run. And there have been many times where I've I've had to make things right from stage. Well, I didn't have to, but but I made a mistake, and then I would publicly share that, like what happened behind the scenes with the teen or apologize in public. And I never wanted to do that. It's just simply that you can't stand up on stage and and in air quotes pretend to be delivering all this amazing material and then understand there's something else going on behind the scenes because people can feel that something's not right energetically, even if you even if this everything you say is making sense.
SPEAKER_00Right. Yeah. Um, so we all have probably more than one, but at least one good principle that we live by. Um, does this come close to being yours? This authenticity?
SPEAKER_02I've never been asked that before. And so that's really interesting, Andrea. Um I'd say it's really, really important to me. And I struggle with the word authenticity because I don't think people understand what that really means.
SPEAKER_00I agree. So if there was one principle though, would what would it be for you?
SPEAKER_02The peace that I live by is the world needs you and your brilliance. It's not a marketing slogan, it's that the fire that you have inside, the brilliance you have inside, the light that you have inside that is yours, the world needs, and it's not just for you. The world needs you and your brilliance in order for others to do whatever they're called to do, and that you don't miss out on a life well lived. And when I really got that, that'll make me cry. That my gifts and abilities and talents and experiences aren't just for me to get the gold star, and they're not just for me to get, you know, to to have an international best-selling books or to have, you know, what whatever the the the cars and the properties and the um private plane travel and all the other things, and that they're really to make a difference and they belong to other people and change things. And the same thing when I see people who are hurting and they could do something like this, and you're right, it requires being authentic and it requires looking in places that you may not want to look, and it and the thing about it is I feel like this is so heavy and so serious, Andrea.
SPEAKER_01And the truth is it's fun and it's exciting, and I love it. Like and I love like and I love it, and like fun, it's like it is fun, and yet at the same time, the seriousness comes in that when I see people and they're and they're not doing it.
SPEAKER_02So anyway, that was yeah.
SPEAKER_00Well, and and you know, here we are. This is the intentional optimist podcast. We're not gonna stay too serious for too long, but at the same time, the I think that's so well pointed out that the beauty of helping another person recognize that that whatever that thing is, you know, we all have I talk about core values all the time. And for for me, my top one right now, they kind of rotate, but it's it's freedom, authenticity, and community for me. And those they kind of rotate to the top. And every once in a while, um, for me to not be willing to help other people find freedom if it's in the way they think, if it's you know, freedom from their own self-destructive behavior or freedom from um freedom to lead in a way that they can lead, if I don't do that for them, I am they're missing out, right? It's not just me. And it it else it takes the focus off of myself to say everything is connected. And if I've been given this gift, my duty is to share it. Um, you know, if we want to go back to quoting Jesus, it's like he said, freely you have received, freely give. And it's like at some point, I have to actually follow that advice and not, as you said, like I not hold on to that $20 bill. I've had those moments myself, right? Not hold thinking about what if that's the gift that you have for other people for you to be willing to give that $20 bill away, like daily, every day. It's gonna come back. It's gonna come back because it's something that happens. We are not um, we're not made to where we have an idea. idea today and that's the last idea we're gonna have. This is not how we function. And we're always gonna have another idea. Or the idea, here's the thing we reach a certain age and the the people that we help get younger and younger. And I think I was have just been really gobsmacked in the last three or four weeks by helping younger women and having being able to tell them things that I learned years ago. And they go, what a great idea. And I'm thinking, oh, this is a gold mine. I have so much more where that came from, you know, but to to then find joy in sharing those things, you know, and it's not about being the loudest voice in the room. It's not about always being right. It's about just sharing what they need. And when we're focused on that servant way of doing it, it's going to it's going to be good. So I'm um I this is great. And we won't we won't keep it super serious. But I do want to know do you have a habit that keeps you in that mindset? Do you have something that you do on a daily basis that helps you stay exactly where you're supposed to be yes I have several habits and they are so important.
SPEAKER_02And I I appreciate you saying that that there is you know for you the the core values because that is that's that's a big part of of the habit is keeping those close by. So when I open up my eyes in the morning, you know I I am automatically in the what's my mission? Like what is my mission? What are my you know what do I stand for? And I'm I'm going through you know to transform lives through leadership, to be a force for good on the planet, to bring people the to their divine mission and purpose. And I'm going through all of these elements um who I am you know my heart virtues I'm committed to mercy and justice and protection. And then I I get on my knees um first things that I wake myself up spiritually and this is these are all things that are done on my knees in prayer and what do I need to look at today? What am I, you know, here's what it is you've promised me in terms of financials, in terms of what you're what you're giving me, what you know what where we're bringing the event what stadium it's going to be on all the places and I'm I'm in that conversation on my knees. After that um I move into taking care of my body and so I will do my pushups I will do my and all of this is designed to then wake up the body and uh and the rhythm and routine through that you know the habit of that and then my mind and I have a specific post and then throughout the course of the day there's always uh uh two walks and those walks are designed to keep me present and focused on what matters most uh to be attached to that and they also bring in the element of fun they because it's not sitting at my desk it's you know what am I gonna see and it's like what are we gonna see together and then I have a technique called the snap technique stop notice ask and then pause pray and pivot so s n a p and when I do that it's like it's it's like there these are habits that are built in that keep me connected to what matters most my values the things that matter and also they connected to a sense of play so that if there's not enough play in my day then I get antsy I'm I'm someone who likes play and so there's a seriousness to the mission in that the world misses out. And at the same time what catalyzes the ability to live that out is to have enough structure so that things can be um fun and playful.
SPEAKER_00Yeah I like that um I tend to use the word scaffolding it's like I want to have a good scaffolding in place that will give me the ability to make sure I get this the important stuff checked off and done but at the same time there's movement. There's like there's a little bit of flexibility in there and all that lovely stuff. So Lisa Marie before we start the completely closing out here, um we like to talk about green flags for people as far as the personal journey that you've been on into finding that purpose or um trans translating from you know law enforcement into something if somebody were to say you know I really like the journey she's been on what should they look for in their hearts and minds as green flags that would say you know what?
SPEAKER_02Yep, that's a journey I want to take stillness so there has to be enough stillness first to be in the listening and the hearing you know for for me in order to notice what I look for in in my in my listening is that when I'm still and I pay attention to my body the messages come through the body yes so it's it's not for me an external like um there have been times when there have been you know I've seen the sign literally or and the the divine communication tool for me is the body and so when I'm still and I actually pay attention to my body I get messages and so when you're feeling like oh gosh I'd like to take this journey I'd really like to know what it is I encourage people to go on God walks to clear themselves to take a walk and say what is it that you want me to see what is it that you want me to hear and my body gives me messages when I do that and the more I am in the listening and the more stillness I create the more ability I have to hear and so it may be where then you know you get the same you get the same sensation over and over and over again. You may see something that you didn't expect. I have a um I told a colleague to do this when she was making the decision about leaving a job and she went on a god walk and she said she heard this really shrill noise and she was like what is that and then she saw it again she heard it again and then she heard it again and then she saw this teeny little bird and it was making this really loud noise and she was like I get the message the message is that I can be the smallest one in the organization and still have a really large impact and so she understood it wasn't about her leaving it was about her speaking up louder or having more and so I feel that there are green lights that come when we're present when we're still when we're quiet when we're in noticing and when we pay attention to our bodies I like that I'm learning a lot about listening and so we talk about listening to my gut um and just uh I'm always surprised at the way my body responds very quickly to my thoughts.
SPEAKER_00Yes I'm one of those people I I don't know if you even noticed even watching me in the video it's like my shoulders go up like this and then I have to say relax. That's right. Oh yes we're listening because the body really does respond and I think as Westerners we are not in tune at all. So um would that also be a piece of advice is to learn how to be in tune?
SPEAKER_02What would your best piece of advice be so so I um when I was looking for when I left law enforcement and I was going is this the right decision there were people who told me I really should get a job or I should use my Department of Homeland Security experience. I was recruited by four uh people to run four police academies and there were other ways for me to use my gifts and the part with the business was that um I understood in my body that this was the decision for me to make and as time went on when you when you just said what you said about the you know in the intuition what I learned to create uh and or to tap into not create but because it's always there is the divine operating system and the divine operating system requires connection to the body there are certain things to do to not do in the body and so I've studied psychosomatics and the connection to emotion and the body over the last I don't know maybe six years or so the more that I learn about the body the more I'm able to hear and get messages and see those green lights and you call them green flags and you know and and understand yep this is the direction to go nope that's a clear no and when you experience that alignment it's a yes even when it doesn't make sense it's like geez if I if I say no to this speaking opportunity why would I do this? They're paying me but I understand in my gut I'm getting a no I'm getting whenever I think about this I don't have a good feeling why am I not signing the document why am I not moving forward there's something there that's blocking that and it could be something really good. You just don't know what it is. Don't take those things lightly whenever someone ignores them it doesn't work out well. So it's not really about it making sense it's about paying attention but you don't most people like you say most Westerners don't listen to the body because they aren't still enough and they haven't spent enough time with their body they're sometimes even uncomfortable looking at themselves in the mirror. So if you don't if you haven't spent enough time with you and you don't know your body then you don't understand what signals and messages it's giving you. So I I absolutely encourage people to spend as much time with themselves in their body.
SPEAKER_00That's why those walks that's why you know the quiet time and for some people it will be something like a yoga practice or um even just an exercise like I have a friend who runs instead of walking and for her that's her thinking time like she doesn't want anything in her ears she doesn't it's just her thinking time and um I think that especially Western women I think that we have it programmed into us that our bodies are a problem many times. And um I want to be careful we could spend another day talking about that issue. But um so I think that because of that we're not always comfortable listening to ourselves and we've been told that the brain is where all the good stuff comes from and the reality is we are more than just our brain. And so I think that's really good advice.
SPEAKER_02And um so Lisa where Lisa Marie where can people find you what is the best place best place to find me is at upside thinking.com U-S I D E and the word thinking T-H-I-N-K-I-N-G upside thinking.com and even on my front page there's a way to be able to connect with me and then all the social media channels uh Facebook and LinkedIn are my favorites yeah we're connected I think on both of them and um I am excited to see where this goes and we will put all of your contact information in the show notes but before we end this today I want to know um what is the one thing that you could be optimistic about even when everyone else thinks you're crazy. I'm optimistic that everything is working out exactly as it should like that for me is I could be in the middle of things and someone goes I don't I don't understand like how you know you you I went on a a family you know a time with my mom and you know I the rental car keys went flush down the toilet and you know ended up you know with them you know stuck and then the car company canceled and then the you know the homeless people out there you know asking me because it's getting dark and I'm by myself and it's eight hours in the heat and you know and I've got no no food no no nothing no you know and then I can go on and on and on to the story to have to break the window to get in for the you know just you know and and I can still be happy and build relationships and connections in it all because I understand that there's a reason that those things happened. I have no idea what they are and it doesn't matter it's just that in the midst of it I can have things really really bad happen and um you know devastating things to some people and have learned that I am so divinely protected that it is all working out for my favor and my highest good that's a good one and it's you know and it's so encouraging too to have somebody say seriously we really can actually even in these really even these really tough situations. Well with your company and my company's upside thinking you can't be somebody who you know who sees the downside it just doesn't it doesn't work well but I think for both of us before we go too far on a tangent for both of us though it doesn't mean that there is nothing hard.
SPEAKER_00Yeah it doesn't mean that nothing goes wrong. It means that we choose to deliberately look for different pieces of it. We choose to look for all those things that we don't know are working together that we don't even if we don't know exactly why these things are happening it doesn't mean that there's not a good reason there and um it doesn't mean that we don't cry. It doesn't mean that we don't lament or um make reparations or whatever. It means that we know we have hope and um a lot of times that's how I say it we view it through the lens of hope. We view leadership and training and growth all through the lens of hope.
SPEAKER_02This has been delightful thank you so much for today I really appreciate you I appreciate your authenticity your honesty your communication what's the other one so oh community and freedom freedom oh yes and freedom to be here as myself in my truck I just all the things it was it was Andrea just just delightful. I'm I'm yeah just so grateful. Thank you.
SPEAKER_00Thank you. All right did you catch it? What is at the heart of being a good leader? Well before I share my big takeaways let's look at how Lisa Marie embodies the tenets of intentional optimism. Now I do this for each guest because we all live unique and different lives and while what we do is different intentional optimism is how we do what we do. It's the attitudes and mindsets that we employ and embody to live out our own goals and dreams with excellence. She and I see eye to eye on so many points so let's just narrow it down a little bit. Let's start with the optimistic Lisa Marie gets hope. Without it you can't have upside thinking or move forward. She's present what a dedication she has to this one. She talked about the importance of understanding stillness and listening to her body, taking those walks each day it's all a part of a good practice of presence. For energetic y'all she is dedicated to being life focused and uplifting others. Look at her business name. She focuses on people and it will make a difference every single time for courageous this one showed up very early in life overcoming and living through some really hard experiences that taught her resilience that then feeds her ability to take on new challenges every single day. Lisa Marie is wise and she has both demonstrated respect and earned it through her actions not just her words. I wish you could see her on video she kept saying it's not just here, just the words it's what we do and how we live it out. And intentional? You heard those seven pillars of upside thinking the very first one is to have a written plan so that you have your own roadmap for your own journey. Lisa Marie is unconventional in her leadership because her passion to help others bridge the gap between success and significance is a reflection of her core values of excellence, accountability and responsibility, making her a fabulous role model for both you and me as we each learn how to recognize exactly what we were created to do and then go share it with the world. Unconventional leaders like you and me lead at every level in any area using their unique gifts. So my two big takeaways of course the first one is vulnerability. It's not something that you do it's being honest with yourself about who you are. This is at the heart of being a good leader. Too many of us were taught all those little tricks that make us appear vulnerable especially anyone in the traditional leadership space in the last 15 years. Learning to allow who you are to completely shine through and I'm not sure this is what the popular culture calls authenticity but being able to be honest about that fire in your belly or that seed in your heart that's vulnerability. Owning your strengths your weaknesses your successes and your challenges will do wonders for both your confidence and your humility I know makes no sense right but it will produce in you a courageous servant leader. And my second big takeaway is the best way to know if you're ready to move forward in anything is to get still in whatever way works for you and listen. Now the answer is in there girl I promise we know so much more than we think we do. Lisa Marie shared that understanding her body and how it responds to what the mind, the emotions and the spirit are all experiencing was the best gift she ever gave to herself. So it's both a green flag wrapped in some amazing advice get to know you. Then you'll be able to make decisions based on who you are. Now what part of Lisa Marie's story resonated most with you? Are you playing around with authenticity or vulnerability at what she called the 70% level but can't figure out why things aren't quite working out in your team or your career? Well it's time to get honest. Time to look in the mirror and be willing to ask and answer the age old what was I created to do? What is it that I could share that I'm afraid of very few of us are like her client who wants to or can purchase an island to help change the face of healthcare y'all I seriously need the rest of that story. But understanding how you're wired what your values are where you are in your journey your own strengths and skills and whether or not you do or don't need some accountability to help you stay focused can all make a big difference. All of those are small steps toward understanding all of that and letting that person inside out. It's kind of like priming an old-fashioned pump. Let's chat hop on my calendar for a 30 minute consultation and let's get you a strategy in place. Now if you loved this episode please go to the top of your screen and hit that follow or subscribe button. Then simply scroll down and click the five stars and tell us why. It will enable us to find even more unconventional, real and authentic stories like Lisa Marie's in order to help more women figure out how they can lead. Now if this one really resonated with you take a screenshot and tag me on social media and tell me what was helpful. I love to hear what you're learning and it'll be easier to share the podcast with your friend. You know, that one who popped into your head while you were listening to Lisa Marie's story, you know the one. Until next time. Oh good you're still here because I have one more invitation for you. My newsletter Optimistic Living is full of good stuff delivered straight to your inbox. So for weekly encouragement, tips and even some special offers, hop over to my website and sign up because unconventional leaders meet at every level in any area using their unique gifts and you my friends are a leader. You are the future of leadership and the role models for future generations.
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