10 Ways to Feel Good About Holiday Eating AND Your Body

The “holiday” food onslaught begins on October 31, and doesn’t relent until Easter. There really isn’t any way to avoid it.

 In this third installment of the “how to deal with holiday stress” mini-series, we dig into the whole food dilemma, and how it affects, or is related to, body image.

There’s no way around the fact that food is a huge part of most of the holidays, and I wish I had a magic solution to loving yourself through this season of sugar and sauces… but the reality is that it’s most important to understand the beauty of your own body, and how you can care for yourself.  That’s the secret to making through the “food half” of the year.

Below are the 10 action steps I mentioned in the episode that will empower and encourage you this holiday season.

10 Ways to Feel Good…:

1.  Reframe your holiday expectations:
      a.  Go back (if you haven’t yet) to the last two episodes, and look at what your expectations are, and what kind of family stress (or conditioning) you might be dealing with.
     b.   What are the holidays for? You get to decide.
     c.   Why are you eating? You get to decide.
     d.   What am I supposed to look like? What do I make that mean?
     e.  Where could I spend my energy instead?
2.  Build a body gratitude list: how long has she been around? Is she strong? What is unique about her? How has she protected you?
3.  If you want something special, purchase it or make it yourself. (Chocolate Orange)
4.  Allow yourself some treats - no one does well with super strict lines… we cross them.
5.  Decide what you want to eat (or not) and communicate it when you have the opportunity to influence the menu (like acorn squash).
6.  Look for OTHER ways to enjoy the season - like the leaves this weekend, light tours, hiking, holiday markets.
7.  Get you some clothes that do fit - and flatter your body as it is TODAY.
8.  Get rid of the clothes that will never fit - I plan on participating in a holiday clothes swap meet. I’ve never done it before, but I have some lovely things with tags on them… time to find something new.
9.  Volunteer - food pantry, holiday meal soup kitchen - get out of your own head
10. Healthy Boundaries Make Happy Holidays Masterclass https://www.theintentionaloptimist.com/healthyboundaries  Make THIS holiday season happy with different expectations, AND joyful anticipation! Healthy boundaries based on your core values allows for conscientious and respectful boundary setting for a holiday season YOU decide you want to experience.

DM me on IG or LinkedIn = @theintentionaloptimist

Learn more here: Get involved!
Healthy Boundaries Make Happy Holidays Masterclass
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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:02

You're listening to Stand Tall and Own it, the podcast for high performing female leaders who are ready to make an impact by discovering the safety that comes from understanding their own value and exercising their own authority. I'm your host, andrea Johnson, and I'm here to tell you it is time to just truly be you, my strong friend. It's time to Stand Tall and Own it. Hey there, welcome back to another episode of Stand Tall and Own it. I am your host, andrea Johnson, and we are in part three of what I'm calling a little bit of a holiday stress mini series, like how to fix that and how to deal with it and how to overcome it or avoid it, depending on how you want to take it and how you want to do whatever you want to do with it. But between the US Thanksgiving and Christmas, there's a whole lot in there and that's the holidays that I personally deal with. In my last one, we talking about family stress, I listed a bunch of holidays that are out there. So if that's something that you haven't listened to yet, like if you've not listened to the episode on communicating and managing your expectations, which is 153, and you've not looked at understanding and dealing with family stress, which is episode 154,. Please go take a listen.

Speaker 1: 1:16

They are not in order, but I did do them in a specific order for a specific reason, and partly it's just because they set the stage for the next one, and today's topic is food. I mean, there are times, y'all it's just like it's like we are conspired against. The food begins and the I mean the shoveling of food at us and the different flavors that come at us and all of the candy and all of that stuff begins on October 1st and it really just doesn't stop, quite frankly, until like after Easter. So we have like six months of like normal food and then we have six months of holiday, after holiday, after holiday, after holiday. There are times I feel like I hit December 31st and I am waddling into the new year. You know, instead of here we come a wassling, it's like here we come a waddling among the leaves, so green, and it just feels terrible. So what I would like to say is let's address that now, before it's too late, because I know I'm not the only one, and I wanted to start with a little bit of background I've dealt with we're going to call them weight issues or overeating or over being overweight almost all of my life. Now, when I was born, I was underweight. I was like five pounds three ounces, and the joke was I started catching up immediately and never really stopped. When you look at me today and you might not understand that that is something that I've dealt with a lot but body image and my weight, or something that I have dealt with seriously all of my life. There are other podcast episodes maybe that I've shared. If not, I'll try to find them, but I know I've shared with other on other podcasts some of my story.

Speaker 1: 3:05

That includes dieting at the age of seven or eight, being sent to school with a half a tuna, fish and mustard sandwich, a boiled egg and a tab. Yeah, that was back in the late seventies, early eighties. So I was. I started Weight Watchers at like 12. And so this is something that I always struggled with. I ended up in the hospital for bulimia and depression when I turned 20 in a 12 week in patient program, and that brings us to one of the things I experienced was something we used over Eater's Anonymous, and it is based on the Alcoholics Anonymous Blue Book. It has its own book and I had to quit going because it's all it's supposed to be a support group and it actually kind of teaches. This is the place where I learned to grow personally.

Speaker 1: 3:54

Being in that inpatient center was the first time somebody said it's okay to be me, it's okay to be Andrea to her fullest extent, it's okay to like the things I like and not like the things I don't like. It's okay to address the stresses that I have in my life and I don't have to use eating to soothe that. And again this is not going well. Not again. This is not going to be about dieting, okay, but one of the things over Eater's Anonymous was good at was recognizing that those of us who were using food as a comfort or as a way to numb ourselves, we were exhibiting addictive behavior.

Speaker 1: 4:31

And if you've ever tried to get off sugar, if you've ever tried to get off caffeine, if you've ever tried to get off fats or specific types of foods, you know there there are addictive qualities to some of these. I mean, I'm just gonna throw out this weird statistic that I know or this weird fact that I know and I could, you know, tell me if I'm wrong, but I'm pretty sure that McDonald's adds sugar to the salt for their fries, because Not only does it taste really good, but it it has a more of an addictive quality to it. You eat more, you come back for more, all of it. So the thing I had to leave behind with over reason over readers, anonymous though, was the fact that we didn't have really good. I guess where I was, we didn't have really good leaders, and so we would sit around and complain that we had to eat to survive, and every other addiction group Could actually live on this planet without whatever it was they were addicted to, and I decided that whining wasn't going to help, and so I decided I want to do a couple of things about it, and I have a long story, and you're welcome to ask me about it Because I'll share.

Speaker 1: 5:36

I'm just not going to share it all today. I have a really long story of ups and downs in my weight, using all kinds of diets. I am a gastric bypass patient, so I understand the cultural, the societal, the religious and the family stresses over over food and what happens to us during the holidays. I understand what that does to my mental and emotional health and I understand what that does to my body image, and I do have some. I have some bad news and good news for you today that I always start with the bad news because I like to end on a good note. The bad news is I just don't. I don't have a secret weapon. I do not have a secret weapon. It's going to fix this situation and prevent the calories from having their usual effect.

Speaker 1: 6:20

So this is not a podcast about diets. This is not even really a podcast about food. It's really more of a podcast episode about how we handle stress and not necessarily Use food to soothe us. But it's also about, when all that food is in front of us, what do we do and how do we think and how do we not make us eating those foods actually mean something about us? So the good news is there are things that I'm learning and I have learned to think and to do. They're helping me every year. They help me throughout the year, but especially at the holidays. So, as per usual, I'm sharing them with you. When I learn them, I share, and we're on this road together, my friend. I mean, I'd rather have you along as a friend rather than trying to do this all by myself.

Speaker 1: 7:04

So let's talk about the stresses that are available, the food stresses that are available, like I said, starting October 31st, all the way and probably before that. But for starters, there's seasonal flavors everywhere, from your coffee, your cereal, your pretzels and the whole pumpkin spice thing that starts in October or maybe even September. I'm not a pumpkin spice person, so I don't get it. But the seasonal flavors of Serial, like, my husband is all about the maple. If anything maple comes out, he's gonna try it right. So there's these triggers, like these little things that we just might want to have there's. So there's the seasonal flavors. Then there's the pushers. Just one won't kill you, it won't blow your diet, you know, or it won't blow your eating plan, or it's not too much for you. There's this amazing woman in my church who has never, probably ever, struggled. She's tall and she's thin, but she loves to give and she is just like just try one, just try one. And you're like you don't understand, um, but so there's the pushers. And then there's some who really get offended if you don't try their thing right. So there's those. So they're everywhere, the seasonal flavors, the pushers.

Speaker 1: 8:17

The other thing is that most of this food is unhealthy. Those multi-flavored popcorn bins are already showing up in office break rooms, the whatever pretzels sprinkled with the little different colored things are showing up and it's really hard sometimes when it's there, if it's an opportune way to just grab something. People aren't giving a lot of fruit baskets and when they do they're super expensive. So it's like you can give Harry and David pairs, but that's gonna cost you a pretty penny. So what they do is they end up giving something they can afford and it's something that people are going to enjoy. I mean, who doesn't enjoy one of those popcorn bins? It's like three or four different kinds and they're every. I mean I see them stacked up in the store windows now, so they're all there.

Speaker 1: 9:03

But then, on top of that, another stress that we deal with is we deal with the shame, the shame of what we actually ate, how much you actually ate, that you ate it at all. And it was this resolve that maybe you went into the season with and it just didn't work right and you just couldn't hold on, you just couldn't white-knuckle it and then you have the physical discomfort that comes with it. I mean, oh, my word, I mentioned in the last episode that Thanksgiving meal. It's like that nap in the afternoon. It's not because of bliss and it's not because it's like, oh, I'm like on, oh, tryptophan or whatever it is, it is because I don't feel good.

Speaker 1: 9:43

I get bloated, and most of us do, we get. We take an unusual amounts of sugar, processed foods maybe gluten does a little bit to you, and then we get water retention, like even just putting my rings on today, for some reason, I have water retention going on. But there's a lot of sodium in processed foods. We're dealing with that in my family, trying to help people understand sodium. But then there's just physical discomfort of just eating too much. Right, it's that meal-induced nap. It's not blissful. But then all of that, the people pusher, the flavors that are everywhere, the pushers, the unhealthy aspect of the food, the physical discomfort, the shame. And then you get discouraged because you were going to drop five pounds before the holiday started. But you were also going to drop the five pounds from last year and you haven't yet. So now you're 10 pounds up already.

Speaker 1: 10:36

Trust me, this is a scenario that I'm very familiar with and you're heading into the holiday season and you're already discouraged because you feel the stress of it and without this free ability to eat as much as you want, for your vice to handle some of the other stresses that come your way. Then you're discouraged with the simple fact that maybe your body doesn't fit your clothes, or maybe your clothes don't fit your body and maybe they don't look the same, maybe it's shaped a little different. As we age, the stuff rearranges. I'm telling you, I could weigh the same amount now that I did 10 years ago and it just looks different, and that's. You know, a lot of that is just getting discouraged with their bodies, and maybe it's just you're discouraged over the fact that your willpower just isn't there, like I said. So those are all the negative things.

Speaker 1: 11:21

I'm getting that negative stuff out first, because what I really want to talk about is reframing the whole, all of it, the all, everything. Okay, reframing all the way back to two episodes ago your expectations what are they? Your assumptions, beliefs and conditioning how do we look at them? So go back, if you haven't, to the last two episodes and look at what your expectations are and what family stresses you or conditioning you might be dealing with, and ask yourself a couple of things. Like let's reframe, like make a reframe list. What are the holidays for you decide? For me they might be about travel. For me, for you, they might be about spending time with your family or with your friends, or going to all the different holiday sites. You get to decide what the holidays are for and therefore you get to decide what you're going to do as far as food is concerned, with them. Ask yourself this and reframe this.

Speaker 1: 12:16

Why are you eating? This is not the typical. We eat to live rather than live to eat. It's not that. Why are you eating? Are you eating because it's a special occasion? Are you eating because it's special food that you only get one time a year and you're going to allow yourself to enjoy it this one time? Are you eating because this is the way that you deal with stress? Why are you eating? You get to decide, refram what you're supposed to look like. I have to ask myself this all the time.

Speaker 1: 12:45

Now, granted, I mentioned at the very beginning that I am a gastric bypass patient, so I used to weigh 310 pounds. I still walk by mirrors and I still don't recognize myself. I'm like who's that lady? The simple fact that I've let my hair go completely gray and white instead of brown and blonde is just like adding to that whole. Who is that person? Because the white hair looks really bright and then it's like oh, who is that person? She's kind of cute. Oh, wait a minute, that's me, it's okay, but you need to decide what are you supposed to look like? What conditioning is in here that you are placing upon yourself that may or may not be realistic?

Speaker 1: 13:24

I've also started noticing that at 57, I don't look. I have wrinkles, right, I have wrinkles are showing up, I have smile lines, I have laugh lines and I just don't look. I don't think I look young anymore and I've seen some pictures of me at different speaking events and I'm like I look like my mom, I look she seemed kind of am I? Are my shoulders back or my shoulders forward? What's going on, you know, and deciding what I'm supposed to look like and taking that supposed to out and saying what do I look like?

Speaker 1: 14:02

And then ask yourself what do you make that mean? Because the other piece and we're going to get out in just a minute is what you make that mean. Is everything, what you make your body looking like, or the clothes that it can fit into, or the food that it enjoys or cannot handle any longer, and you eat it anyway. All of those things matters depends on what you make it mean, and then ask yourself too this is another good reframing moment when can I spend my energy instead? Could I spend my energy on doing something productive for the holiday, rather than worrying about Eating right, what can I? There's all kinds of ways you could spend that energy, even if it's in just the reframing process, rather than Guilting yourself and being discouraged and upset with yourself and angry. Turn that energy around and spend it someplace else. And that's the next piece I want to look at. So look at the stresses, looked at the possibilities of reframing and again, I think I'm gonna add all this list into the show notes so that you'll have it, because it's a lot.

Speaker 1: 16:02

But once we reframe and the biggest reframing, I think, is learning to actually have a little gratitude, and I am not one of those people that keeps a gratitude journal. I am. I've participated in a couple of gratitude Exercises with another coach and they were really helpful in making me recognize where I am and I'm not Thankful, or where I do and do not show gratitude. But this one it tends to get a little overly used, but it's very helpful, especially in this area, when we are talking about how we treat our bodies and the food that comes into our bodies and how we think about that food and how we think about how we feel in our clothes and in our bodies. It is really helpful to think in terms of gratitude, and there are plenty of ways to express it that alleviate stress. You know we can talk about being thankful for the abundance of food that we have, etc.

Speaker 1: 16:55

But I've been trying to focus on being grateful for my body. I have been really working on that. I have another gen hat maker that I listened to has gone through this herself, and it's been very I opening listening to someone who's had this idea all their lives and then switches and says when I started talking about my body as a Her, it really mattered, because now I realize it's it's part, it's part of me and it's not just I, I, I it's wait a minute my body actually matters here, and so I'm gonna share a couple of these things that I'm grateful for. That, I hope, will maybe spark the ability for you to start your own list of things that you are grateful for with your body. So let me share a couple of mine and maybe share an example or two.

Speaker 1: 17:42

So number one she's gotten me to my 57th holiday season. Y'all, that ain't nothing to sneeze at and I shared in the last episode about all the different types of family holiday stresses and changes and not having Solid ground to stand on sometimes. But hey, my body has gotten me to my 57th one and that's kind of a big deal. So I'm really grateful that she has brought me this far. She's still got strength. This 57 year old body. She still has strength. In the last week I have spent eight plus hours in my yard working on leaves and, yeah, I'm a little sore and I have some scars to prove for it, but I have spent eight plus hours with leaf blowers and Vax and leaf Vax and dumping leaves and Mulching leaves and putting and we're not done. We have a giant oak With a couple of dogwoods in the front yard and the neighbors have an oak and it comes over to our yard because of the way the wind blows. But I've been able to do that. This body has gotten me there. She's strong, she's small but mighty. Right, I mean five, one and a half and she can actually do that. So it's very reassuring to be Grateful and to show and express gratitude to my body and just out loud for the strength that she has. And and here's my third one she's not falling apart yet, mostly right.

Speaker 1: 19:08

There are things that All of us knew. Some people experienced things early on. For instance, I went through menopause at 39. So In my mind there were things it was like, oh, my body is falling apart, but it's not really. I do have tendonitis in certain places and because of my gastric bypass I have a couple of things, but for the most part she's not falling apart. I'm at 57. I don't have any major diseases. I'm very healthy. I have low blood pressure. I need to really be grateful for that. Here's the other thing. I am grateful that my body is unique. When people see me, they know me Y'all, for the in part of that is my haircut. But and now that it's all white, you know she has unique hair. Right, my body has unique hair.

Speaker 1: 19:52

But during the pandemic, when I was out wearing a mask, I would have people come up to me and say hey, andrea, how are you? I haven't seen you in so long and I'm looking at them thinking who are you? But they could recognize me, this body out in a shopping area, like I had. A gentleman actually stopped me in Sally Beauty Supply. I was still doing hair color at the time. I was buying hair color and he had a mask on and I didn't realize it was somebody that I saw almost every day when I worked at the University of Virginia. But I just didn't recognize him out of that environment and with a mask on, and so he went like this and I went oh how are you? And he said I would recognize you anywhere. And somebody else walking down outside the mall said I could see you coming a mile away and I knew exactly who you were. So my body is unique. People know her.

Speaker 1: 20:46

It's not a bad thing for me to say I can be grateful that people know who I am. They can hear me coming, they know it's me walking, they know my hair, they know my smile, they know my eyes, and this is something that I have come to love and cherish about my body and it's a beautiful reframe for me, because my teeth are crooked and I'm short and my rear end is quote unquote too big for my size and there's all kinds of things that I may not like about my body. But she's unique and everybody knows her and I find that to be very welcoming. And when people say things like that to me, I feel like I belong, which is one of my core values. But here's the last thing I want to say that I'm really grateful for about my body is that she's always tried to protect me. She's gotten me this far because she's tried to protect me.

Speaker 1: 21:40

You know, when you have gastric bypass surgery, one of the things you can't eat is sugar, and every once in a while I got a little overboard. I've actually learned how many grams of sugar I can have to not have what we call dumping syndrome, which is where adrenaline rushes into your body and into your bloodstream and you just kind of shut down for a little while. Some people have gastric upset and that kind of thing. For me it is literally a adrenaline rush and crash and I have to sleep for about 20 minutes and then I'm fine. And I have noticed, too, that there are things that my body has done for me that has protected me this far, even going into early menopause. My body protected me from having a child that isn't my child I mean, that would have been my child but because of that I have the child that I'm supposed to have, who's upstairs, hopefully vacuuming, and he's amazing, and so my body has protected me. Everything that she has done for me. Even if my blood pressure drops or if my blood pressure soars, or if my blood sugar does something crazy or anything else, my body has tried to protect me. Even when I think about my mother fighting cancer, her body was trying to fight that. Her body was constantly trying to fight that, and everything we did was to help her do that. So that's the reframe on having some gratitude for my body, and I'd like to leave you with just a few actions that you can take that I kind of do myself and that are helpful and see if this helps you. So definitely give me some feedback. Let me know in either the comment section on YouTube or a DM in Instagram or LinkedIn, or leave me a review in this particular podcast episode. Do something like that and let me know because, or email me at Andrea at theintentionaloptimuscom, because I would like to know how these hit you and whether or not these actions will work for you, or if there's one that really stands out or if you have some extras to add.

Speaker 1: 23:30

Okay, so the first one is if you want something special, some kind of special food, purchase it or make it yourself. I need a chocolate orange every year for Christmas and I know I can have three slices at a time and I try to eat only three slices in a day. But my husband has now picked up on that, so he makes sure I have a chocolate orange. But there were years were just like I need my chocolate orange and that was my special and that was my wonderful little thing. I think I've shared in the last episode that I am bringing acorn squash to the Thanksgiving dinner that my sister and I are having, and this is obviously this is coming out after Thanksgiving. So I took acorn squash to my sister's Thanksgiving dinner because I wanted it, and so if there's something that you want, make it or purchase it yourself.

Speaker 1: 24:18

Second, allow yourself some treats. That chocolate orange is a good example. But no one does well with pure Deprivation, right? It's just there's a reason why it's called deprivation. If you don't handle strict lines well Because we tend to cross them, or if we draw a strict line and then we trip and fall over it, then we a lot of times beat ourselves up worse for it. So Just get yourself some treats and, like with my chocolate orange, just all them out to yourself and say this is my treat for the day and I get this and you're not deprived.

Speaker 1: 24:50

Number three decide what you want to eat or not and Communicate it when you have the opportunity to influence the menu, like I'm bringing, like, salad for Thanksgiving meal and acorn squash, right, those are the things that I want to have and I'm communicating them and I'm bringing them right. So I'm making it easy, if you have the opportunity to influence a menu at a party or influence a menu somewhere, whether or not you have an allergy or a preference, to say you know what I'd really like to have, a green option I'd really like to have. Or if you want a special Jello salad, or that was this thing I always gave my mother to make. She had this layered Jello salad that had it was strawberries and had strawberry Jello and then Sour cream, believe it or not in between the layers, but have pecans and all kinds of yum. It was beautiful in this kind of trifle looking dish and it was delicious. But if you have that opportunity, make your, make your wishes known so that other people can do it and Number what is this for?

Speaker 1: 25:49

Look for other ways to enjoy the season like we have. I said I've been raking leaves, but my family's been out there. My son has been flying through the air and landing in big piles of leaves. Do things that are going to help you celebrate the season. That may not have anything to do with food, because you may not have lost those 10 pounds from last year but you don't have to gain 10 pounds this time. But if you gain the five, but you've done things that really helped you enjoy the different holidays, just give yourself that grace and that break to do it. We like to go to holiday. I like to go to holiday markets. Some people like hiking, light tours. There's all kinds of things to do that you can do to enjoy the season that don't involve necessarily eating.

Speaker 1: 26:29

Here's another thing get you some clothes, or, yeah, get you some clothes that fit your body today. I Don't care if you're gonna lose 20 pounds after the holidays. Get yourself some clothes that fit today, so that you enjoy how you feel in your clothes, so that your body looks pretty and Attractive in your clothes. If they fit, they already look better. So get yourself some clothes that fit and flatter your body. Do this today. You don't just spend a lot of money, but there's all kinds of sales all the way through the end of the year, or you can go to Goodwill or a consignment shop. I have a friend with a beautiful consignment shop, but the next piece is get rid of the clothes that will never, ever, ever fit right. There's the other piece that I was gonna share is there's holiday clothes swaps. I'm gonna participate in one this year and I've never done it, but I have some lovely things with tags still on them.

Speaker 1: 27:22

When I got down to 116 pounds and then gained back about five Because that's really hard for me to maintain as a gas reply pass patient, I bought this lovely cocktail dress from J crew and it's this black Excuse me kind of a taffeta Brocade with peacock looking feather paisley on it and it's gorgeous. And when I bought it it was it's a double zero. Now I could zip it up at the time, but it was just like this is a little snug for I'm gonna wait till next holiday season. Well, the next holiday season I had put on five, and the next holiday season I had put on five. That thing's still beautifully hanging in my closet with a double zero tag on it. It's like oh, this is a good opportunity. I'm taking this to the holiday swap. So get rid of the clothes that will never, ever fit, because if I ever get down to 116 pounds again, it's not worth that. I think I bought it on clearance, right? So get some clothes that fit. Get rid of the ones that don't.

Speaker 1: 28:17

Just be kind to yourself and appreciate your body. Do that gratitude, um, exercise for your body and tell her what you love about her and just start celebrating her. You can also do other things, like volunteering at food pot pantries or holiday meal soup kitchens. Get out of your own head. Remind yourself that it's not about just you and that maybe you have it better than you think. And then, of course, the thing I shared this last week I'm gonna share this every single time is you can actually rewrite your own holiday boundaries with my healthy boundaries. Make happy holidays masterclass. It's just a little over an hour, it's six dollars and seventy five cents, so it's super like the same price as a holiday venti whatever at starbucks.

Speaker 1: 28:59

But you could make this holiday season happy by changing your expectations about who you are and what you're supposed to be, how your body is supposed to look and how it's supposed to feel.

Speaker 1: 29:09

But approach the holidays with joy and anticipation, because when you know you and you know your core values and you are conscientious and respectful about boundary setting, you decide what you want to experience and it will change everything for you. I shared a little while ago that I will be putting some of these lists in the show notes and I want to hear from you, so DM me or email me or or check it out on youtube and leave a review or a comment. I am excited about helping you experience this holiday different, to see your body different, to see the food that is out on display as abundance and beauty, rather than something that is constantly calling your name or Pulling you off the wagon, and I hope that this has been helpful to you. Please let me know, because it is helpful to me and these are the things that I practice for myself. I'm not perfect. We're on this journey together, so until next time, stand tall and own it.