Something shifted. You can feel it. You just can't name it yet.
Stand Tall & Own It is for women in the second half of life who are high-functioning on the outside and quietly disoriented on the inside. You built your life inside systems you trusted completely — until you realized you couldn't tell what was actually yours from what you'd just learned to navigate well.
Host Andrea Johnson doesn't offer formulas. She offers honest thinking, sharp observation, and the kind of conversation that makes you pull over and sit in your driveway.
Today we’re talking about how seeking and cultivating understanding builds unity and fosters community. Understanding is the first part of the tenet of Wisdom.
Intentional Optimism - Your Vehicle for Personal Growth:
Optimistic = The hull, the vehicle that gets you from island A to island B.
Present = The centerboard - keeps you upright, focused, centered.
Energetic = The sail - captures & harnesses the wind, propelling you forward.
Courageous = The rigging - holds everything together in proper tension, resilience.
Wise = The rudder - keeps you on track, heading in the right direction.
Intentional = Setting everything up to properly capture the wind.
Topics discussed in this episode:
Look for the Spiritual in the ordinary
Get real - be willing to see the good and the bad
Pursue a 360° view of life
Now what? Start small. Start asking yourself some honest questions:
Do I seek to understand? Or do I only want to be understood?
Is it my goal to understand the perspectives of those outside my “group?”
Where do I go for information, when I want to understand a particular topic?
What do I hope to gain from any new knowledge I discover in my search?
Where is my north star? Is my boat headed in a direction that aligns with my values and beliefs? Do I need to adjust that by pursuing more understanding in certain areas?
Next, if you’re ready to work on it, here are the ways I pursue understanding…
Look for the Spiritual in the Ordinary. Acknowledging we are human helps keep us humble.
Get real - be willing to see the good AND the bad. Without that understanding, the true beauty and depth of our own existence never gets a chance to shine through.
Pursue a 360° view of life. Don’t limit your view.
Do want to be part of a community that practices, encourages and supports being Intentionally Optimistic? Join me over in the Intentional Optimists Facebook Group
Email me at andrea@theintentionaloptimist.com so I can be your professional encourager! ● Follow on Instagram @theintentionaloptimist ● Linked In Andrea Johnson
You're listening to Intentional Optimists, the public house for unconventional leaders, where you'll find inspiration, learn to discover and develop your own strengths, and hear some inspiring women just like you who are making a difference in their community. Who knows? You just might find yourself stepping up as the next unconventional leader right where you are. I'm your host, Andrea Johnson, the original intentional optimist. Hey y'all, welcome to episode 27 of the Intentional Optimists Unconventional Leaders podcast. I'm still so honored that you're joining me 27 episodes in on this journey. Personal growth is not for the faint of heart. And while it's truly an individual pursuit, being able to do that within a community and environment that promotes and celebrates it really makes a difference. Of the six tenets of intentional optimism, being wise or pursuing wisdom is the one that keeps us on course. This one helps you identify your North Star and make sure that you're headed in that direction. It taps into your own values and the amazing resources around you, especially if you're in a great growing community. So today we're going to look at one aspect of the wisdom tenant, understanding. Now, Stephen Covey said famously, seek first to understand, then to be understood. Because you know what? We all want to be understood. It's just one of our core desires, right deep down at our heart. We want and need to be seen, heard, and understood. King Solomon also said, that really wise dude from the Old Testament, get understanding and wisdom at any cost. I mean, that was his pursuit. And as I find myself saying over and over, it's active. There is not a sit back and absorb aspect to this process. Truly believing something pushes us into action. Otherwise, we just know things, right? I mean, what good is a head full of facts and figures if you can't use them? The journey into intentional optimism is like that. It's a personal growth plan, part of which is understanding of and respect for all the forces that are truly outside your control and those that are within your control. It's just a part of a bigger journey, a journey embarked upon in response to a longing or a desire to be something or someone else. If it helps you, think of it as a journey from island A to island B. Now, swimming will get you there, but it would leave you completely unprotected from all the dangers the open sea includes. I mean, not to mention how much stamina you might need for that kind of journey. So I needed a vehicle to get me there, which is how that sailboat of my intentional optimism growth plan was born. I began by asking myself some questions. Why do I stand here longing for that shore? Well, because I want something different. I want something better. There's most certainly more to life than what I have here on this beach. Here I feel limited. Here I feel alone. Here I feel small. Well, why this boat? What is it about intentional optimism that so captivates me and urges me on that I can't walk away from it? I know there's something out there. That's why. I know I'm not alone. I know there's a bigger plan, and I want to participate. Deep down, I know this will make me better, bigger, and more complete. But why actually put this boat in the water? Because gosh, it's hard. The last four years have really tested my mettle. So why? Why work so hard to get it right? Because I want to understand. Understanding is one of the keys to keeping my boat headed where I want it to go. I want to understand others, to step away from my own space and meet you where you are. The last few years have been very educational for me in this area, and I've been open in sharing some of the hard things I've both experienced and the hard truths I've had to acknowledge. And believe me, it's only by God's grace that I've discovered an effective way for me to pursue understanding. And when I learn something that helps me, I share it with you. So here's what I've learned. First, I choose to look past the surface of things, situations, and circumstances. You see, we are physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual beings. If we focus only on the first three, of physical, mental, and emotional, we deny our humanness and our ability to comprehensively understand. Those first three are helpful in assessing the current situation, but the spiritual aspect can lend an explanation to it. Looking for the spiritual side of any given situation helps bring that whole picture right into focus. So I look for the spiritual in the ordinary. And just so you know where I'm coming from, I do not pick apart every moment of every day, but my worldview is based on a biblical perspective. I see an overarching story of an intentional and involved creator in relationship with us, working in and through all of our decisions, actions, and circumstances to accomplish an eternal purpose. And because of that, and this is gonna sound weird coming from a self-proclaimed optimist, I choose to be real and see all the things, good and bad, while promoting unity and togetherness. Now, it is not normally in my nature to voluntarily take in negativity. Ask my husband, I get saturated really fast. I don't usually make a habit of watching the news, but everything going on in the last six months or so has created a little bit of an exception in this area. I just don't think being blasted with everything that's gone wrong today is the best way to feed my soul or equip me to help others. And studies show that the more we focus on the negative, the more likely we are to continue to see it. Turning that around to see the positive, that's hard. I do, however, want and need to be aware of how others have different experiences from mine and how people are hurting as a result of those experiences. I have to be willing to recognize that as human beings, we're fallible, and we've missed the mark in so many areas. In our culture, our churches, communities, countries, all of it. And in response, I have to be willing to change my heart and my mind based on some of that information. Y'all, I am so blessed, and I've shared this before too, to have friends who have very different and diverse histories, both personal and ancestral, from mine. They have different experiences and viewpoints, and they're willing to lovingly share them with me, even when we may be on opposite ends of the spectrum on any given topic. I cherish these relationships, these brave people who've been willing to point out what I can't or I haven't seen. They help me recognize where to point my boat on the horizon, what might be in my way getting there, and where I might actually need some help. Some of these conversations are really hard. Most, however, serve to open my eyes and my heart to completely different perspectives and realities. Now I grew up in a very diverse community. I'm a missionary kid, and I grew up in South Korea. I went to a school with kids from 65 different countries and heard a whole variety of languages in the halls. And many times I felt like I was in the minority. Now that's a unique experience, to be sure, but a dear friend pointed out it's not even close to the same experience that someone in a minority community in the United States has had. In order to promote unity and community, I have to learn what those differences are, and I have to see where they're coming from. All my life I really wanted to fit in. I wanted to be part of the crowd. And I'm still learning how this showed up in my past and has affected who I am today. But now, now I want to know what it's like to be different, to think different, act different. I want to know how it all works. And on my journey, this includes things like, you know, the wind, the tide, the currents, the waves, taking it all in and understanding what affects my journey and how my journey affects others. I choose to experience the unfamiliar until it becomes familiar. I choose a whole world of feeling, everything from abject loneliness to pure exhilaration on this journey. Like meditating on the mesmerizing song of the sea as I float along, sampling the flavors of the air, and offering back my thoughts in return. Part of this amazing journey in my little boat, headed out to that new island on the horizon, is what I love to call panoramic vision. Folks, wisdom is available from so many different sources. And I now kind of go out of my way to discover them. I strive to listen well and seek others' perspectives and celebrate unique viewpoints. Now, at first, this made me so nervous. I was scared I would somehow become a heretic or lose my faith. Trust me, my faith has only deepened with my increased understanding, knowledge, and wisdom. Kind of like what I shared back in episode 21 on Grown Up Wonder, the more I understand about my own beliefs and others, the more value mine hold. So no, I don't abandon my beliefs. But when I examine them in the light of others in the marketplace, mine are either gonna stand up or fall down. And I'll be honest, doing this over the past four years has done both. I'm more solid in my understanding of the Bible and why I believe what I believe, yet I've found it necessary to step away from what turned out to be some cultural belief systems or social constructs that aren't as compatible with Scripture as I had once believed. I want a 360-degree view of life. I want to look out and see the horizon on every side. To look up at the sky and see not just the clouds, but the birds. To look down and see not just the waves or the water, but the sea turtles and the fish. Why? Because I want to understand. And this is all part of the how. Now, don't for one second think this journey is easy. What did I say at the beginning of this episode? This is hard. There is no rest for the weary, as they say. But there is the rhythm of learning, unlearning, grieving, relearning, and moving forward all over again that opens my eyes to yet something else I hadn't seen yesterday or this morning. This can be one of the more challenging things to work through. You and I have developed our own perspectives over time, shaped by our experiences and our beliefs. But it can be one of the most helpful tools to master. Now, this is your mama telling you, walk a mile in somebody else's shoes. For me, I've had to come to grips with a few things like my pride and comfort determined whether or not I wanted to see things from God's perspective or my own. I also had to learn that regardless of the hardships I've faced, my life is still the result of a comfortable, privileged background. And my heart has been shattered when confronted with the reality of others' entirely different life experiences, even those who sat next to me, worked next to me, walked with me. And coming to terms with the fact that while nobody's perfect, those we put on pedestals in our youth, or now for that matter, never, ever deserve to be there. Now, sure, some of this is just maturity, but what if I'd not had the courage to take that first step? I'd have none of what little understanding I've actually gained. The last four years have built upon the foundation of the 50 that came before, but I am so grateful to those who have joined me in this journey. So I can hear you now. Andrea, where's the optimism? I thought this was about optimism. Okay, it's right here. Embracing new depths of understanding creates unity and builds community. Did you hear that? When we embrace new depths of understanding in all areas, but especially with other people, we create unity. We build community, an active pursuit. We don't have to be alike. We don't have to agree on everything. We do need to be willing to grow in our understanding in order to lay the groundwork and foundations for bigger and better communities going forward. I am so thankful for friends who are willing to stand up and share those hard stories we all need to hear. I'm grateful for my church community who love and encourage me, lifting me up without always knowing exactly what I might be wrestling with. I'm honored to know you and to be allowed to share my thoughts and my opinions in hopes that you'll join me on my journey and spread that spirit of growth. This is just one of the ways we build community, by holding each other accountable to know and understand one another in order to foster communication and meet each other's needs. Now, are you ready to embrace new depths of understanding in order to create unity and build community? Does the idea of that feel overwhelming or fraught with anxiety or emotion? It can. But as I like to say, let's start small. Start by asking yourself some honest questions. Do I seek to understand or do I only want to be understood? Do I have my back against the wall? Or am I standing out in the middle of the room? Is it my goal to understand the perspectives of those outside my group? Or just tell them that we have a different viewpoint? Where do I go for information when I want to understand a particular topic? That can always tell us something. What do I hope to gain from any new knowledge I discover in my search? Is the purpose for me to grow? Prove a point? What is it? Where's my North Star? Is my boat headed in a direction that aligns with my values and my beliefs? Do I need to adjust that by pursuing more understanding in certain areas? And next, if you're ready to work on it, here are the ways I pursue understanding. I look for the spiritual and the ordinary. This reminds us that we're all human. All the wonderful and flawed aspects of being human. There's something bigger than me. I'm a part of the whole, and you are too. Acknowledging that helps keep us humble. Get real. Be willing to see the good and the bad. Some things are really difficult to learn, especially the bad things that might pertain to me. But without that understanding, the true beauty and depth of our own existence never gets a chance to shine through. It's like hiding our light under a bushel. We were created for community and connection, to be in relationships. And third, I pursue a 360-degree view of life. Trust me, you really don't have all the answers. I speak from experience here. When you allow other voices to join the conversation, other perspectives to be represented, you just might be surprised at what you discover. Think about it, you wouldn't get on a big cruise ship and then go sit in your cabin where you could only see one small vantage point out of that little porthole if you even have one. You head all the way up to the top, where you can see as far as you can in every direction. Don't waste today. What will you choose today? Will you let your little boat of personal growth float along with the current, drifting wherever it takes you, a non-participant in your own journey? Or worse, will you just let it sit on the sand, right there on the shore, filled with regret or even jealousy as you watch others sail by on their way to a future they've chosen? Your little boat will sit there, looking all spiffy and cute all day long. But it will go nowhere on its own. It's the same with intentional optimism. Recognizing and affirming the six tenets is good and important, but it's like admiring that cute little sunfish on the beach. It accomplishes you nothing. Its usefulness is only realized when you place it in the water and get in. Once you do, things begin to change. Only in the water can you experience the exhilaration that comes from realizing and recognizing the power of a personal growth plan. So let's get that boat in the water. This is my specialty. I help you begin the journey, giving you the equipment you need. You can't use your rudder to steer you in the right direction if your boat is sitting in the sand. So I help you launch from that beach. I've done this myself, many times by myself, but I've had amazing sisters help me through the breakers out into the open waters where I can sail. The easiest place to start this journey is in our Facebook community, Intentional Optimus. We're building a community with a culture that helps us all learn to think and live with intentional optimism. We're encouraging each other, feeding our minds, and growing together. Join us. The link is in the show notes, along with some free resources to get you moving into 2021 with a little bit of intention, and it's not too late to start. Now, this month, March 2021, I'm offering a new group coaching opportunity for high-performing, mission-minded women who want to learn and grow in a small group setting. I'll be sharing this in my Facebook group as well as on my Facebook and Instagram pages, but they could fill up fast. So if you're interested, email me at Andrea at the intentionaloptimist.com and let me know. I've included my contact info in the show notes just in case. As always, thank you so much for your time today. On your run, your commute, or while you're getting ready. Please share this with another woman. I am positive you know somebody who could use this message or our Intentional Optimist Facebook community as a source of both examples and encouragement. Now, as a last favor, if you find this podcast helpful and encouraging, first subscribe, then take a moment and leave a rating in review. Your kind words and positive rating will help even more women find us. Until next time. Hey, thanks for listening today. If you're an intentional optimist and you love this podcast, please subscribe and leave a review with a five-star rating. You can also snap a screenshot right where you're listening, share it to social media and check me. This helps others find this and will have an even bigger impact on me. If you're curious what it would be like to look more closely with me, or just step up with an unconventional leader in this month, schedule a free discovery session and up with me in the moment.com. If you're looking for encouraging and uplifting community on the link, one of the more enjoying intentional optimists are going to be encouraging the money from all the women in the community, and email links in the lighting link in the description for everyone listening to the podcast.
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