29. Living With Purpose

Today we’re talking about how to live with Purpose. It’s not as difficult as you might think. Purpose is the first piece of the tenet of Intentional.

Intentional Optimism - Your Vehicle for Personal Growth:

1. Optimistic = The hull, the vehicle that gets you from island A to island B.
2. Present = The centerboard - keeps you upright, focused, centered.
3. Energetic = The sail - captures & harnesses the wind, propelling you forward.
4. Courageous = The rigging - holds everything together in proper tension, resilience. 
5. Wise = The rudder - keeps you on track, heading in the right direction.
6. Intentional = Setting everything up to properly capture the wind.

Topics discussed in this episode: 

• Know your “Why”
• Put caring for others, first.
• Pick a direction, and GO!

 Now what?  Start small. 

•  Discover your own WHY.  Simon Sinek’s “Why” TED talk, or better yet, read Start with Why. Or, try my one page Discovering Your Core Values Exercise. 
• Find somewhere to volunteer. This will build community, connection and your own well-being.  
• Pick a direction. It’s always easier to change direction than start, so get MOVING!  

Get involved!
Interested in a small group coaching opportunity? Email me at andrea@theintentionaloptimist.com
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Transcript

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You're listening to Intentional Optimists, the podcast for unconventional leaders, where you'll find inspiration, learn to discover and develop your own strengths, and hear from inspiring women just like you who are making a difference in their community. Who knows? You just might find yourself stepping up as the next unconventional leader right where you are. I'm your host, Andrea Johnson, the original intentional optimist. Welcome to episode 29. Purpose. Ah, purpose. Whenever I start talking about this subject, I feel like I'm in a John Hughes film. Now I struggled for years, and I mean years trying to figure out what my quote calling was. What's my purpose was synonymous with a career or something I was supposed to do. I mean, I had musical talent, and I almost pursued a singing career. Now, I'm not entirely sure if I completely just chickened out or what, but I'm fairly certain at this stage that it was just not meant to be. When you're young and passionate, it's easy to get sidetracked, heading down rabbit holes, searching for that reason that you're here. And that's a good thing. You need to be open to all the possibilities when you're starting a career. And the good news is that as we grow and mature, the truth slowly reveals itself, and we realize that there are many things we could do, many career paths we could follow, but purpose is just much deeper and broader in scope. What I'm getting at here is motivation. What moves you? Why do you do what you do in any given circumstance? Now each of us has an overarching life theme that governs how we live. It encompasses our values, our beliefs, and our personality. For me, my main values are community, authenticity, and freedom. And my most influential beliefs are those of a Christian, more specifically to reflect the work and life of Jesus. Therefore, and I know you've heard me say this before, my ultimate purpose is to live a life that is true to and glorifies God and benefits others. Now that sentence kind of sums up my values and my beliefs. So I try to ask myself each day, did I live today for God's glory and the good of others? And I can ask that in any given circumstance as well. Do you have questions? If so, what are they? You really do have them whether you acknowledge them or not. Something guides you, pushing you to grow and develop. If you're listening to my podcast, you're at least somewhat interested in personal growth. I mean, it can't only be my sparkling personality. So if you don't know if you're living with purpose or not, let's take a quick look and either celebrate or help you figure out and make a few changes. Are you with me? Let's dive in. First, though, I do want to make it really clear that if you discover you need to make a few changes, that they may only be in behavior or attitude or mindset. It's not usually your core values, because you, my friend, are wonderfully, carefully, and personally created with purpose. Therefore, you have purpose. Alright? That said, sometimes we need help pinpointing it. I find these three main questions to be extremely helpful doing this. First, do you know your why? And I'm sure you've heard that from any number of people out there. But you need to know why you do what you do. These are your core values. In his famous TED Talk, Start with Why, Simon Sinek introduced the Golden Circle, in which he tells companies that before you can sell your widget, you must first know why your company exists, which is their core belief, then decide how you will fulfill that core belief. Then you can deliver the what that accomplishes that core belief. As a values-based coach, this message resonates heavily with me. I talk about the importance of knowing these quite often, but I put great emphasis on this with my clients. Knowing your top few values truly gives you freedom to decide what to do in most circumstances. For instance, when presented with a conversation, situation, or opportunity that I could either engage in or walk away from, I can ask myself questions based on my values and beliefs, like, does this build community? If I participate, can I be authentic, unapologetically me, which includes my beliefs? Will this promote freedom for me, for others, in thoughts or finances? If the answer to all of those is no, then my decision is really simple. I get to walk away. If the answers are varied with any combination of yes or no, then I need to decide how important the yeses are versus the no's and how it aligns with my beliefs as to whether or not I engage. If, however, the answers to all three are a quick yes, then I can just choose to jump in. I carefully and purposefully, see what I did there, help my clients determine their core values. If you work with me on any level, you will do this exercise. Values are not your beliefs or your morals. Those things can and do change as you grow, learn, and mature. Core values are your most basic life principles, who you are at your very core. When you know your core values, you then have the guardrails within which to operate and make decisions. Your goals can be aligned with your values, ensuring that you're focused on what's important, not just on a goal for the sake of getting ahead. So I ask you, what's your why? The second question that I find really helpful is, how do I care for others? Or do I care for others? Because even if you haven't identified your core values yet, here's another good indicator of whether or not you're living with purpose. How others-focused are you? You don't need to be Mother Teresa, but taking the focus off yourself for even a little while each day has so many benefits, including discovering a sense of purpose. See, when you care for others, your mindset completely shifts. It's really difficult to get out there and truly help people without developing a servant heart, just like we talked about back in the courageous leadership episode. If you don't have a servant heart when you begin, circumstances will likely help you develop one and a good bit of humility to go along with it. In her book Imperfect Courage, Jessica Honegger shares a poignant story of learning this really difficult lesson the summer she spent in DC during college. Here's how she puts it. People are made to be loved, not fixed. People are not problems to be solved. We don't feel sorry for people, we see ourselves in people. And as a result, we expand our circles of compassion to include not just us, not just the people who look like us, but all people. We all bear the image of a perfect God, and thus we all deserve life reflective of the dignity that we bear. Truly caring for others involves more than just doing things for them. It's a humble mindset, putting their needs first, fostering unity and respect, seeing people as they are, where they are, and for who they are. It opens your eyes to see yourself more clearly. You might even call it the golden rule. So, how are you caring for others? And the third question I ask, in addition to what's your why and how you care for others, is have you picked a direction? Now, to live with purpose, you must be actively moving toward something. Choose a point on the horizon and move with confidence. This is where knowing your why and having a humble heart come into play. Those things lay the foundation for knowing your overall objective. There is no need to wander aimlessly. Seriously. Now I know some of you are out there rolling your eyes at me right now, thinking, Andrea, if I knew my direction, I would know my purpose. Well, maybe, but I think it's much less dramatic than that. Do you remember my purpose that I shared at the very beginning of this episode? My ultimate purpose is to live a life that is true to and glorifies God and benefits others. That could take on any number of forms and go in any number of directions. Now you may not know exactly what you want to do for a career. You may think you've fallen into a career. I know all about that. And you may be at a crossroads where you have any number of directions you could go. Well, just pick one. If it's not the right one, you'll figure that out soon enough and you can change. You have the power to change direction if necessary. Now, some people have a very dramatic turning point type story that causes them to evaluate their purpose and come up with their own questions that they ask themselves. But I'm one of those people who fell into my career and eventually decided I wanted to do something that better aligns with my core values and allows me to serve others and keeps me in line with my greatest purpose of serving God. But here's the thing: I could still accomplish my purpose each day, no matter if my job, my house, or anything else about my life changed. My point on the horizon is still the same. So, what is your point on the horizon? Do you know your why? Are you serving others? Are you moving towards some kind of an end goal? If so, and you didn't realize you were already living with purpose, congratulations! Celebrate! Yay! Do more. But if you answered no to at least one of those, it's just time for a little work. Don't worry. Some of it might be tough, but it's good work. Now, of course, as I like to say, start small. None of these need to be stop you in your tracks kinds of questions. But definitely think about your why. You have something that motivates you. You do. Even if you haven't pinpointed it, there are so many resources to help you figure it out. Here are a few specific things. Your core values, along with your most strongly held beliefs, will point you in a general direction. Check out Simon Sinek's Why TED Talk, or better yet, read his book Start with Why as a great baseline and move on to some of his other books about leadership from this perspective. If you need help with determining your core values, I have a simple one-page worksheet and I'll share it in the link in the show notes. Next, put caring for others first. Put it first. Yes, we're all in the middle of a self-care crisis, but caring for others is not the opposite of caring for yourself. It's the perfect antidote to selfishness and automatically opens your perspective up to see things in new ways. Did you know that volunteering is one of the best ways to boost your own mental health? It builds connection and community, and it's proven to give you more satisfaction in life. So maybe it's a good time to volunteer. And third, just pick a direction and go. Yep, that's what I said. Just go. In the entrepreneurial world, they talk about building your wings on the way down. Now, granted, that sounds terrifying to me, but I'm kind of in the process of doing that myself. It's the same concept here. Every aspiring parent is told, girl, you are never going to be ready to have that baby. And trust me, they're right. There's never a perfect time. There's never the perfect person, a perfect career, ever. But when you're on the move, you're much more agile and light on your feet. And on this journey, there will be days when the fog will settle in and you'll need to know what direction you've set on that compass. So now what? Let's pretend we're in the fog. My vision is like a lantern off the bow and it lights the way in the dark. It provides a perfect circle of light that moves with the boat, providing just enough room to see where I am and where I need to go. You see, my purpose doesn't change whether or not I can see ten feet or ten miles. I am still on my boat, and I am still on my way to my horizon. So I hold the vision of my purpose out front, my motivation. I know why I'm out here on this journey, and I know where I'm headed. And guess what? I'm not alone. You're out here with me. Your lantern burning bright, and even a beam from a lighthouse that may sweep across the bow, illuminating the fog and alerting me to rocks or the shore. So I keep my rudder steady and my sail stable, my compass set, and I move through the fog purposefully and confidently. Are you stuck in the fog? Does your boat float along with the current drifting wherever it takes you? Or is your rudder set? Watching that point on the horizon or the compass. Are you ready to be a participant in your own destiny? Please don't sit on the shore, filled with regret or jealousy as you watch others sail by on their way to the future they've chosen. Because your boat could sit beautifully on the beach looking spiffy and cute all day long, but it will go nowhere on its own. It's the same with intentional optimism. Recognizing and affirming the six tenets of optimistic, present, energetic, courageous, wise, and intentional is all good and important. But it's like admiring a cute little sunfish boat on the beach. It accomplishes nothing. Its usefulness is only realized when you place it in the water and get in. Once you do, things will change. Because only in the water can you experience the exhilaration that comes from realizing and recognizing the power of a personal growth plan. So let's get that boat in the water. This is my specialty. I help you begin the journey, giving you the equipment you need. I help you launch from the beach. I've done this myself, many times all by myself, but I've had amazing sisters help me through the breakers out into the open waters where I can sail. The easiest place to start is our Facebook community, Intentional Optimists. We're building a community with a culture that helps us all learn to think and live with intentional optimism. We're encouraging each other and feeding our minds in our monthly book club focused on personal growth and development. So join us. The link is in the show notes, along with some free resources to get you moving further into 2021 with intention and purpose. Now this month, March of 2021, I'm offering a new group coaching opportunity for high-performing, mission-minded women who want to learn and grow in a small group setting. I'll be sharing in my Facebook group as well as in my Facebook page and Instagram feed, but they could fill up fast, so if you're interested, email me at Andrea at the intentionaloptimist.com and let me know. And I've included my contact information in the show notes as well. As always, thank you so much for your time today. I assume you're listening to me on your run or driving to work or while you're getting ready. Please share this with another woman today. I am positive you know somebody who could use this message or our Intentional Optimist Facebook community as a source of both example and encouragement. And as a last favor, if you find this podcast helpful and encouraging, first subscribe, then take a moment and leave a rating and review. Your kind words and positive rating will help even more women find us. Until next time. Hey, thanks for listening today. If you're an intentional optimist and you love this podcast, please subscribe and leave a review with a five-star rating. You can also snap a screen to mark it right where you're listening, share it to social media, and tag me. This helps others find this and will have an even bigger impact on me. If you're curious what it would be like to work more closely with me, step up and unconventional leader in your stuff, and schedule the free discovery session and up with me in the moment.com. If you're looking for an encouraging and uplifting community on Facebook, optimist community, encouraging women and all political learning. Community and email links and like the membership description wherever you listen to the podcast. Until next time, email community and community, you are the future of leadership and the role models of the future generations.