Something shifted. You can feel it. You just can't name it yet.
Stand Tall & Own It is for women in the second half of life who are high-functioning on the outside and quietly disoriented on the inside. You built your life inside systems you trusted completely — until you realized you couldn't tell what was actually yours from what you'd just learned to navigate well.
Host Andrea Johnson doesn't offer formulas. She offers honest thinking, sharp observation, and the kind of conversation that makes you pull over and sit in your driveway.
You're listening to Intentional Optimist, the podcast for unconventional leaders, where you'll find inspiration, learn to discover and develop your own strengths, and hear from inspiring women just like you who are making a difference in their community. Who knows? You just might find yourself stepping up as the next unconventional leader right where you are. I'm your host, Andrea Johnson, the original intentional optimist. The most dangerous state to be in when operating a moving vehicle is boredom. And I'm notorious for becoming sleepy while driving any distance on a straight road. So, yeah, that's my own personal statistic. It's the same in my personal growth journey. I bore quickly with the same old thing. Kind of like when I'm out on the boat in the water and it's perfectly still. Everything is predictable. There's this lovely little rocking motion of the waves. It's a perfect time in the sun to just lay back on the boat and take a nice warm nap. But that won't get me very far. So what I've learned is to seek adventure. Welcome to episode 39. Adventurous, along with leadership and resilience, makes up the intentional optimism tenet of courageous. Now, for an overview of that one, see episode number eight. Courage and specifically adventurous best represents the idea of a growth mindset to me. It's the ability to see where you are, look forward to where you want to be, and then be willing to grow in order to bridge the gap between the two. Now, in our sailboat analogy, courage is equal to the rigging or the ropes. And adventurous, it's the willingness to increase the tension, tighten the sail, and really pick up some speed. Now, when you handle the ropes on a sailboat, or maybe a steering wheel on a car, they're never ever static. They're constantly in motion or being held in some kind of tension with or against some force, like the wind in the sail or even wind against your car. Y'all, the year after college, I went and worked in Los Angeles and I drove the 101 every day to and from work. And let me tell you, those Santa Ana winds, they will knock you off the road. The ropes and the rigging, though, they allow you to increase or decrease the tension on the sail. If you want to move faster, you just pull the ropes tighter and increase the tension so that the sail catches the wind. Kind of like pressing your foot down on the accelerator of your car. If you want to slow down, you release the tension and the sail relaxes. This is how courage works. Many think the presence of courage implies the absence of fear. But the reality is courage is pushing through your fear. You've heard it said before. Do it anyway. Be afraid and push through and do it. This is a good kind of tension. It's the tension you feel between the fear of trying something new and pushing through that fear to actually do it. You see, you step up and you get in the boat. And that's scary because maybe you've never piloted a boat before, or maybe ever sailed, or maybe never just been in a sailboat before. But you need to figure out how to get the boat moving so you kind of lead yourself and you push yourself through that fear, becoming an example and a role model to those watching. Now we all have a certain level of risk with which we're comfortable. Some are way risk averse, some are risk seekers. But stepping out with courage implies there will be risk involved. So I like to accentuate the adventure aspect of courage because, well, I just think it makes everything a little more fun. I mean, what's life without a little fun? So I think there are three active steps that you need to pursue to be an adventure seeker. Are you ready? Here we go. Number one, try new things. I I know. Andrea, you've said this on multiple podcasts, but it's real. You can do a 30-day challenge, you can just consciously pursue it. But I say, and that's a very, very pertinent phrase here, that I'm always willing to try new ideas or processes, experience new things, and think outside the box. And the reason I say it's pertinent that I say about myself part, because the reality is I kind of like figuring out what I like and sticking with it. But there's always something new, and there's usually a better way. So let's talk about those three areas that I mentioned about learning something new in. Ideas. I describe myself as an out-of-the-box thinker, and I'm always surprised at how many people find that to be unique. Because I I don't find it that unique. I know a lot of people who I would describe as out-of-the-box thinkers. Because here's the thing: the box is boring, it's limited, it's constrained, it is literally defined space. And I can't do that. I can't imagine a world where everything is in a box. So I have to think outside of the box. How about processes? Even if you think you have the most efficient process ever, there's always a way to improve it. And me, I'm always looking at something. I'm always looking at fixing my makeup routine or my skincare. And if anybody can come up with like a one-product skincare routine, please let me know. I'm all ears. A few years ago with my staff, I did a broken processes exercise. And what we did was we looked at all the different processes that we had administratively that just maybe weren't working. Because there was a lot of complaining. So when there's complaining, you gotta figure out what's wrong. But one of the ground rules we set at the very beginning of the exercise was if you own a process and it is identified as a broken process, don't take it personally. Because if it's broken for everybody else, then it's really not a good process. But it's not you, it's the process. So always look at processes. And then what about experiences? Man, now is the time to experience new cultures, new foods. You know, even just getting out and experiencing art, or I noticed that Broadway is starting to open back up. And it's been hard, granted, in the middle of a pandemic, to do some of this stuff. But travel, get out of the house, try something new. Sorry, I keep saying that, but it's just a really good phrase. Now, speaking of food, you would think that growing up in Korea that I would have this amazing sense of adventure when it comes to food, but you could not be more mistaken. I have memories, vivid memories, of going down country to little churches, and had the pastor and his wife wanted to feed us, and my sister and I sitting cross-legged on the floor in front of these tables, full of what they call panchanis, these little bowls of things with my rice in front of me and looking kind of to my left, to where she was, because she's left-handed, so she always sits on the left-hand side of the table, looking to her, and we both just like pick up the soy sauce and dump it on our rice, and we rice and soy sauce. We were not adventurous. We both have become a little more adventurous as we age, but we just need to try new stuff. So I've shared before. Sometimes when I order HelloFresh, I take whatever they've picked for me and we try new stuff. Turns out my husband and my son actually like bibimbac bowls and we like bogogi. And so there's things that we haven't tried that we're looking forward to trying. And if you do that, it actually keeps your mind agile and keeps you moving forward. Because the point is to learn and grow, right? It's that growth mindset because you are not a box. Your mind, your intelligence, your skills, and your strengths are not a box. There's always room for expansion. Let me tell you, when you take hold of the ropes on a sailboat and you engage the wind, it's a little bit, I mean, I get goosebumps thinking about it. It's a little bit spooky, but then you start picking up speed and you realize, hey, I can do this. And if you're looking for adventure, you pull the tension just a little bit tighter, harness that power that comes when the wind pushes hard against the sail. And as that boat starts to tip with the force of the wind, you start hanging backwards off the side to counterbalance and you fly. Amazing! Talk about adventure. When was the last time you felt the wind in your hair? Physically or metaphorically? When was the last time you tried something new, only to discover a whole new world of experiences that you had no idea you would love? So I'm learning to welcome new and different scenarios, like maneuvering around a reef or working against the current, and I'm always willing, quote unquote, always willing to try new ideas and processes to make my journey just a little more efficient or interesting. I'm looking for new ways around obstacles or testing out a new way to hike out on the side of the boat, which is what we call that counterbalance thing. These give me both insight and new skills. So, here's what I say in the mirror. Try new things, Andrea. And that leads me to the second active step that I think you need to take, which perfectly leads into it, which is being undaunted. I love this word. It means not intimidated or discouraged by difficult or challenging circumstances. Easy, right? Easy peasy. No, that's a very tall order. To not be intimidated or discouraged by difficult or challenging circumstances, look at the year we have all come through, and many of us are still in very difficult and challenging circumstances. You know, whenever I take the Enneagram, I always take a free one. I come out on either a seven or a three. And if you know anything about that, the seven is on one side of the circle and the three is on the totally other side of the circle. And this fits perfectly with what I've described as my own internal, like, I don't know, two person, two personalities, dichotomy, whatever. And I'm learning to not fight with that in myself. I'm learning to embrace those differences. But I've always called myself a little bit of a Tigger, right? Loved the 100-acre wood long before we had, or before my son came along. So I thought, eh, what does the Enneagram look like in the 100-acre wood? Well, I was right, Tigger is a number seven. But depending on the day I take whatever free Enneagram test I'm taking, I might come out as a three. And both of them are really high, like in the 95 to 98 percentile. Number three is gopher. If you know anything about gopher, he's extremely task-oriented. Extremely. And he comes up from he comes up to the surface and kind of like blinks, like, wait, what was I doing? So when I need to be undaunted, I tap into my number three. I tap into gopher and I move forward. Because here's the deal: the more I experience and learn, the more confident I am that I can take on each new challenge. The skills learned today build the foundation to reach from a higher plateau tomorrow. Did you catch that? The skills you learn today build the foundation upon which to stand and reach from a higher plateau tomorrow. Like steps. You take one today and that's enough. Or that's all you could handle. And then you take another step tomorrow, or another step the next day. And like a child, as they grow and their legs get longer, my 12-year-old can handle steps today that he couldn't handle at three. It's all a part of the growing process. This last year, when we lost a lot of our regularly scheduled programming, we discovered American Ninja Warrior. Now, when you train for American Ninja Warrior, you cannot start by challenging and accomplishing and just running up that 14-foot wall. You have to start at the beginning and you have to start small. And you know, when I first launched either my coaching business or my podcast, I was scared of everything. Oh, even my Facebook group, every single rock of the boat, every person that joined and then didn't join or exited, every gust of wind, every ripple in the water. Is that a shark? Maybe it's piranhas. It's real that fear. But how different I am now, even just the podcast a year later, I'm less and less intimidated or discouraged by even the most difficult challenges, like making sure that I've got people's names spelled properly, or making sure that the email that I send out goes to all the people it's supposed to, making sure that I schedule social media to actually go out on the day that I expect it to. When you constantly and consistently work to understand how to tighten or loosen those ropes, getting that tension right, you develop the confidence to figure out how to do it in the future. You're less likely to allow a gust of wind to capsize you. And you know, you'll look around and you'll feel the wind and you'll notice it picking up, and then you'll just let the ropes out a little bit to accommodate that. You can figure it out, I promise. And if you can't, call me. We'll figure it out together. Now, the third thing you need to be willing to do in order to be an adventure seeker is you've got to have a little fun. Fun makes everything better. You know, a spoonful of sugar. Even the hard things can be made fun. It's all in the perspective. You know what I've started calling myself? I've started calling myself a challenge acceptor. Remember, words matter. Just two episodes ago, number 37, why our words matter? The words we say about ourselves actually make a difference. You know, I don't consider myself to be a competitive person. And I know there are people out there listening to this that are rolling their eyes because I do like to win, but I don't need to beat you. I don't even need to beat me. I might need to beat the clock. But for me, it's all about if you tell me I can't do it, that triggers something in my soul that says, hmm, go ahead. Underestimate me. That'll be fun. And yes, I do have one of those shirts. But I don't consider myself to be competitive. I just like turning each new challenge into a game. If it's not fun, I don't want to do it. I love winning at Uno or Skippo or whatever game I'm playing. But if it's not fun, if it's too competitive, if it becomes serious and people start getting angry, I'm ejecting. For instance, like when I launched this podcast, they said, Can you launch this in six weeks? Well, sure. I can launch it by my birthday. And they said, September 1. I said, no, no, no, August 29th. That's my birthday. I can launch it by my birthday. And I dared myself to fail. And I did it. It's all in the perspective. So this is me tapping into that Tigger aspect of my personality. The number seven. Fun, fun, fun, fun, fun. Right? I mean, Tigger likes to have fun. He does not like to be sad. Now, you might say to me, Andrea, I'm not Tigger. Honey, I'm Rabbit. Or I'm Piglet. Well, guess what? Rabbit and Piglet have their own brand of fun too. You just need to find your own. You know, before the onset and the prevalence of GPS, we used to print out map quest directions whenever we needed to go somewhere. I know some of you are out there thinking, I still print out map quest directions. They're not always the best. I have people in my family who print them out. But we would invariably go on our map quest, get to a spot where the map or the instructions did not match what we were seeing around us. And I just got to the point where I'd turn to my husband and say, hmm, looks like we're on an adventure. That took all of the stress out of the situation. It took all of the anxiety out. And we said, Well, we'll figure it out. So figure out what makes it fun for you. Because laughter really is the best medicine. That's serotonin, those endorphins, those are some great things. Our brains are so amazing. And when you tap into that stuff, trust me, you feel better, things look less stark, and you can figure it out. Think about when you get on an intense roller coaster, Piglet. Unless you don't get on the intense roller coaster. But what I do is I just decide to make it fun because it scares me to death. You throw up your hands, you scream, and you laugh, and you enjoy the thrill of the ride. Because it is possible to over-tighten. It's possible to hold on too tight or to control too much. Pulling that sail too far, you either lose the wind, or the boom that holds that sail is gonna fly around and knock you right off the boat. But the more you practice, maybe capsize, learn how to write your boat and start again, you build up resilience. And being willing to see it all as an adventure really helps you hold that tension in a productive way, allowing you to fly with the wind in your hair. Let's get salty soaked, right? Now it's your turn. Are you an adventure seeker? Let's talk about new things. Pick an area and just start with something new each day. Maybe it's ideas. You could look at new religious or political ideas. Yep, I said that. How about processes? Is there something you need to do better? Maybe there's a culture you want to learn. Maybe you just need to take in what we consider culture, like art and music or theater. Maybe you just need to try a new kind of toilet paper or paper towels. Heck, live a little. How about undaunted? Look for where you're getting discouraged. This is how you figure it out. What circumstances are a particular challenge for you? These are all major indicators. Perhaps this is an area where you need to learn a new skill. Maybe that would help make a difference because you need a little more confidence. How about fun? What does fun look like for you? Yep, this has been a really, really hard year. But cut yourself some slack. Or cut a rug. Dance parties are great. Or just cut up. My son's really into silly jokes, so we're just learning to laugh with them. Alright, you know I'm gonna have some tools for you, so here they are. Number one, try the one new thing 30-day challenge. Mine, I'm putting it in the show notes. No, you don't have to put your email address in. You can just download it, or just write it on a piece of paper. Just commit it to yourself and tell other people I'm trying new things for 30 days. Number two, sign up for something like Skillshare or Masterclass. Or if you're in LinkedIn and you're LinkedIn Premium, you've got LinkedIn learning. Figure out what skill you might need to learn and just invest in it. Number three, you need a community. Remember, you're the average of the five people that you spend the most time with. So find yourself a community that seeks adventure. One of the best places to start is my Facebook community, Intentional Optimist. We're building a culture that helps us all learn to think and live with intentional optimism. And adventure seeking is part of it. Now, if you've been listening to me, you know I specialize in helping you do things. I often joke with people saying, I'm an in-your-face coach. But if you want my help, seriously, I'm here. Launching your boat by yourself, whether personal growth, new business, nonprofit, or even leaving a tribe, it's not gonna launch itself. This is my specialty. Maybe you need to check out the community I'm building over at the beach. If you like just a little extra information, maybe some good stuff in your inbox, you need my newsletter, Optimistic Living. So just click that link in the show notes. Thanks for your time today, wherever you listen. If you find this podcast helpful and encouraging, follow us. Then take a moment and leave a rating or a review, and your kind words and positive rating will help even more women find us and get that intentional optimism they need. Alright, all you adventure seekers. Until next time. Hey, thanks for listening today. If you're an intentional optimist and you love this podcast, please subscribe and leave a review with a five-star rating. You can also snap a screenshot right where you're listening, share it to social media and tag me. This helps others find this and will have an even bigger impact on me. If you're curious what it would be like to work closely with me, step up with unconventional minimum.com. If you're looking for an encouraging and uplifting community on Facebook, and joining conventional optimist community, encouraging women from all political women. Until next time, email you are the answer. You are the future of leadership and the role models of the future of generations.
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