Something shifted. You can feel it. You just can't name it yet.
Stand Tall & Own It is for women in the second half of life who are high-functioning on the outside and quietly disoriented on the inside. You built your life inside systems you trusted completely — until you realized you couldn't tell what was actually yours from what you'd just learned to navigate well.
Host Andrea Johnson doesn't offer formulas. She offers honest thinking, sharp observation, and the kind of conversation that makes you pull over and sit in your driveway.
If you follow me on Facebook or Instagram, you’ll see my daily posts from She Reads Truth. This is one of my Spiritual Disciplines - reading the Bible every day.
Hi there! Andrea Johnson here. Welcome to our third week of best of episodes from season one of the Intentional Optimists Unconventional Leaders podcast. These are the best ones, according to you. They're the most downloaded episodes of the entire season. And next on our list from season one is episode number eight, The Courage to Be Me. In this solo episode, I give you a broad overview of the fourth tenet of intentional optimism, which is courage. Now, re-airing this one this week is really timely. You see, Friday was my last day as an employee. And today, the day this episode airs, is my first Monday as my own boss. Now, if you're in my Facebook community, you know how much I love Monday. It's like hitting the reset button every single week. And this particular Monday is a big reset where I'm truly celebrating that courage to be me, my own boss with my own business, where I stand up taller than my five foot one-inch frame and unapologetically teach on growing yourself or your team into that dream and goal that you're working on achieving. Look, it's really easy to talk a big game about having courage. Just do a hashtag search on Instagram, Facebook, or LinkedIn, and you're never gonna make it through all the amazing posts about having courage. But all the motivational quotes in the world won't actually give you courage. Take a listen here, my friend, and learn the three main areas where you need to lean in to courage and simple tips for how to do it. Of course, when you're done, drop me a message, Facebook or Instagram, and tell me how I can help you lean in and support you as you discover the courage to, well, be you. Alright, on with the show. E. E. Cummings said, It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are. I think that, the growing up and becoming me, has been the most courage-taxing thing I've ever attempted. Even being a parent focuses the attention somewhere else, taking the spotlight off of me. But figuring out who I am, what I stand for, and how I need to show up in the world, that has taken courage. Welcome to episode eight. Today, you guessed it, we're talking about courage. And there are so many areas where we can apply this right now, and I can't tell you exactly where you need to apply it, but I personally apply all these principles to the continued need to grow up and show up as me. I hid behind a socially accepted facade for so long that just understanding that my voice with its unique perspective, expertise, and wisdom is valuable and needed, then showing up each day as me is a win. So what does courage look like? Well, I believe there are three main components. There's no way around the idea that the first of them is leading. Yep, it means being willing to be out front. Be that lead goose, so to speak. You know what I mean. Sometimes it's good to keep your mouth shut, but often someone just needs to be out front leading the way, and it might as well be you. Now you don't need to be extroverted to be a leader. People just need to know you care about them. When others feel valued and seen, they're automatically drawn to you. You know what we call that? We call it charisma. Not empty flattery, we both know that doesn't work. You know when someone isn't really interested in you, and they know when you're not really interested in them. So it needs to be the real deal. For some of us, this ability comes naturally, and maybe you're a people person and you just love interacting with others. What if, though, you're an action person or a task person? You can still develop this skill. I have this conversation within the corporate world when it comes to how the upper management view their employees. Are they an expense to be managed or mitigated? Or are they assets that can increase in value and be developed? When you see people as inherently valuable, you just interact differently. You make different choices, you use different words, you use different body language. Others can tell what you think of them. When they feel valued, they'll follow your lead, even if you're not in a position of leadership. Now, one of the best ways to do this is to put others' needs ahead of your own. Simply put, serve others. As we heard last week from Julia Roberts, she views her job in the mortgage industry not as sales, but as a way of helping others achieve their goals and dreams. This makes her extremely popular and landed her on so many civic and nonprofit boards, she had to stop turning them down. Serving others means you choose to put their needs first. One of the best ways to do this is to put others' needs ahead of your own. Simply put, serve others. As we heard last week from Julia Roberts, she views her job in the mortgage industry not as sales, but as a way of helping others achieve their goals and dreams. This makes her extremely popular and landed her on so many civic and nonprofit boards, she had to start turning them down. Serving others means you just choose to put their needs first, which changes your perspective. If you're a parent, I don't need to explain this to you, a new baby or child in your life changes everything. How many movies can you think of right off the bat where this is the entire premise, right? Selfishness goes out the window. What if we started using that kind of thinking about everyone else? What differences could we make in our communities? Now, another important way you can lead is through sharing your vision. Not everyone has the ability to see what may be out ahead, and when you're that lead goose, you automatically have a better view. So share it. Maybe you're somebody like me who's a horizon thinker. I tend to look out a good bit further than most people. And while my husband doesn't always like the fact that I think three, six, or nine months down the road, especially when he doesn't like what I think I see, because you see, he's much more of a tree-oriented guy and I'm a bit more of a forest-oriented girl. This isn't necessarily about being right or wrong. It's about seeing the big picture. He ends up coming back to me and admitting that I was right, which I never turned down. But this is also how I help my coaching clients. Sometimes I can see things they can't because I'm outside looking in, or maybe with them it's the tree versus the forest. Either way, sharing that vision with them opens their eyes to new possibilities. The second major component of courage, and a bit of an obvious one, is being adventurous. Now don't tell me you're a homebody, because so am I. You have to choose to change your perspective here. Seek adventure. Come on now, even just making a wrong turn on your way to the opera can be seen as an adventure. Heck, maybe just going to the opera is an adventure. Trust me, we, my husband and I, have been on many adventures. If you need help shifting your mindset over to this viewpoint, I have a tip for you. Surprise! Try new things, honey. Try new things. My sister had kids over 14 years before I did. In fact, she was actually pregnant with my niece at my wedding. So I had plenty of years to watch and learn. Not not that I did, but that's a whole other story. When her kids were young, there was a period of time where she really wanted them to expand their food choices. So each day she would set out a new fruit or vegetable for them to try. Granted, there were a few surprises. One day we'll eventually tell you the story about how she cooked a cucumber instead of a zucchini, but overall, they discovered new flavors they didn't know they liked. Now last fall I ran a 30-day challenge to try something new every day. And I tell you what, if you're interested in doing that with me this fall, snap a screenshot where you're listening, tag me, and give me a try new things hashtag. I am game to jump back in. We can make November the Try New Things Month. The reason this is important is that it teaches your brain to keep learning and expanding. Everything you try or learn develops new neural pathways, kind of like cutting a new path through the woods or really tall grass. At first, it feels hard and there's a lot of resistance, but with each trip over that pathway, it gets easier and easier. That means the next time you come up on a challenge or an obstacle, you have both the conditioning for paving a new path, and you might already have several more routes from which to choose, which gives you the ability to live what I like to call undaunted. When you aren't intimidated or discouraged by your circumstances, you live with the understanding that you actually can do hard, new, or really different things. But most of all, if you're gonna be adventurous, for heaven's sake, make it fun. I'm learning a whole lot about being what I call a challenge acceptor. You see, having a sixth grade boy means that recess consists of tree-limb sword fights and trampoline acrobatics. Lunch then means a quick round of Uno Attack or Skippo. True confession, my husband is way better at this than I am, but I'm learning. Breaking up your day with a little fun and activity boosts serotonin and feelings of hope. Making a game out of trying new fruits and vegetables, even if you should have used a zucchini, is a little like the philosophy Mary Poppins used, you know, a spoonful of sugar and all. Now the third main component I see in courage is resilience. This is the ability to bounce back from adversity and hardship. And it may not come naturally to you, but if not, consider this: you can grow and develop your resilience. It starts on the inside, and we usually identify this as growing in character. Who you are when no one's looking. This means you decide up front to do what you say you're going to do even when it's hard. Now I am notorious for pushing my to-do items off to the next day, and the next day, and the next. And eventually things will come due and I have to follow through on my commitments, but this doesn't only apply to tasks. Acting in accordance or alignment with your principles can mean you have to do some hard things. It's easy to come up with examples of this in parenting, but what about at work or church? How about in your community or the PTA? Right now, this is incredibly relevant in how we treat those with whom we don't agree on politics, racial reconciliation, mask wearing. If I truly value each person, then how I interact with them should reflect that. I think character matters. We are role modeling for anybody watching, and we're teaching our kids how to live and function in this crazy world. This doesn't mean I don't stand my ground on issues I believe are important, it just means I desire to show that I honor and value people. Now when you do this with consistency in the small, everyday stuff, you can then make big changes. James Clear in his book Atomic Habits, yes, I talk about this all the time, lays this down as one of his fundamentals. He says, habits are the compound interest of self-improvement. Just 1% consistent improvement over time will get you there faster than you imagine. A slight change in your daily habits can guide your life to a very different destination. Think about when you're driving on the highway and you adjust the steering wheel just a little bit to the right. Makes a big difference, doesn't it? This shows up in my courage and resilience as I learn to have patience with my preteen son's newfound ability to spout verbal zingers. One after another after another. It's like one of those Nerf guns that has a rapid fire mechanism. Now, if you've raised a child into adulthood, you know what I'm talking about. But I'm also seeing results of incremental change in my health, in permanent weight loss and better sleeping habits. But mostly I see evidence in my own personal growth. One of the biggest compliments I've ever received was from my best friend of nearly 30 years when she said, Girl, I am so proud of you. You just seemed bigger in all the good ways. That still makes me feel great. Lastly, we develop our resilience and stay consistent by lasering in our focus. Know what you want to achieve and learn to hone in on it. If it's important to you, you already do this. We always focus on what's important. Maybe use this as a diagnostic tool. Look at what you focus on and work backwards to find out what you think is important. It could be quite a wake-up call. So how can you begin incorporating these principles? Where do you lack courage? First, maybe it's time for you to step into a leadership role. If so, make sure you're doing it with humility, valuing and serving others, and sharing whatever vision you've been given. Second, do you find yourself living in a constant state of fear or needing safety? That's really easy to do right now. Maybe it's time to be intentional about embracing an attitude of adventure. Want to do a 30-day new things challenge? November's perfect for it. Third, we're all suffering with COVID fatigue right now. Add to that the upheaval of a nasty election season, virtual work in school, and it is easy to get worn down. Deciding what's important, focusing, and consistently practicing what we commit to will build up our resilience. And fourth, hey, contact me. Seriously, do snap a photo, tag me, and drop me a try new things hashtag, or tell me how you're having fun. I'd love to hear your adventures in the middle of all this mess. Of course, if you're someone who likes steps and specifics, I do have a blog post for you, and it's titled Develop Quiet Courage, 12 Steps. Of course, the link is in the show notes. And if you just want an easy way to do your own 30 days of new experiences, there's a link on that page that will give you a quick one-page journal. I'd love to hear from you and encourage you as you work through developing your courage. You can start by subscribing to this podcast and drop a comment or a review right below where you listen. As always, you can email me at Andrea at the intentionaloptimist.com and let me know how I can be your professional encourager. Are you like me and you need to grow up and show up as you? Maybe your voice is the one we need. Well, I can help with that. Drop me a line and we'll set up a time to talk about how one-on-one coaching could be the answer for you. If you'd like to discover your strengths, let's talk about getting you a disc assessment. The Maxwell Method of Disc provides a 30-page report that will help you tap into your greatest motivations, dramatically improve your relationships, and accelerate your results. Again, email me at Andrea at the intentionaloptimist.com and we'll set up a time to chat. And heads up, the next episode will be all about the Maxwell Method of Disc, what it means, why it's important, and how to use it in all your relationships. So until next time. Hey, thanks for listening today. If you're an intentional optimist and you love this podcast, please subscribe and leave a review with a five-star rating. You can also snap a screenshot right where you're listening, share it to social media, and tag me. This helps others find us and will have an even bigger impact. If you're curious what it would be like to work more closely with me, or just to step up as an unconventional leader yourself, invite you to schedule a free discovery session to talk with me a little more. Just email me at Android at the intentionaloptimist.com. If you're looking for an encouraging and uplifting community outfit, hop on over and join the intentional optimist group. Encouraging women from all over the globe. Community and email links are right here in the show description wherever you listen to the podcast. Until next time, remember, you are the answer. You are the future of leadership and the role model for future generations.
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