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Stand Tall & Own It
Something shifted. You can feel it. You just can't name it yet.
Stand Tall & Own It is for women in the second half of life who are high-functioning on the outside and quietly disoriented on the inside. You built your life inside systems you trusted completely — until you realized you couldn't tell what was actually yours from what you'd just learned to navigate well.
Host Andrea Johnson doesn't offer formulas. She offers honest thinking, sharp observation, and the kind of conversation that makes you pull over and sit in your driveway.
This is where the real work starts.
Stand Tall & Own It
Episode 69 - Let's Talk About "Fear" with Andrea Johnson & Kim Pate
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Starting something new, here! Each interview spawns some kind of conversation between me and my friend/producer, Kim Pate. We’ve decided to start sharing some of those with you - this is the first!
Last week’s episode with Michelle Eberhard caused us to really look at what WE thought about fear, what it is, what it isn’t, and how we handle it. Hope this is a helpful conversation for you!
Topics discussed in this episode:
- What fear “is” and “isn’t”
- How it shows up (body, mind, soul, spirit)
- What does fear do FOR you?
- How do you mitigate or deal with it?
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You're listening to Intentional Optimist, the podcast for unconventional leaders, where you'll find inspiration, learn to discover and develop your own strengths, and hear from inspiring women just like you who are making a difference in their community. Who knows? You just might find yourself stepping up as the next unconventional leader right where you are. I'm your host, Andrea Johnson, the original intentional optimist. Hey everybody, welcome to episode 69 of the Intentional Optimists Unconventional Leaders podcast. Today we're trying something new. New is good. We always want to try new things. One of the things that my podcast producer Kim and I have been talking about throughout the last quarter or so was how to kind of shake things up a little bit. And one of the things we noticed was that we always had some kind of a conversation available about or conversation starters about each and every podcast interview. And I said, what if we just started having some conversations about those topics? So I have now pulled in my friend and producer Kim Pate. Welcome. Hi, how are you? I'm awesome. We're still trying to figure things out. Um, but what we'd like to do is not absolutely every other episode, but probably 50% of those at least, especially when it's a conversation that is going to happen around a topic that was a little bit unusual. For instance, last week's podcast interview with Michelle Eberhard was really interesting. And it was called the fear journey. And I found myself posting if the fear journey is something you think you shouldn't want to listen to, then you should listen to this. Then you need to pay attention. And there's a reason why, because she presents it as fear is every single fear is completely able to be overcome. And it's really positive. But I thought, you know what, this is something that we could talk about. So before we go into that conversation, that was a little bit of a spoiler alert. Um, I want to just talk to you a little bit about my friend Kim here. Um, and when you look at the video, she's like going, no, stop. Um I am not. I'm not. So she how long we know each other? Over 30 years. 30 years. So yeah, 30 plus. 30 plus years. And if you want to hear a little more like her the first time she was on the podcast, go all the way back to episode 11, which is October 2020. And what we did in that one was talk about the disc, which is um the behavioral analysis assessment that we are both certified in. And I thought it was an interesting conversation. She's one type and I'm another. So we're not going to talk about that today, but you can go back and look at that. Um, that's episode 11, October 2020. It's called Disc Among Friends. It'll give you a little bit of an, I don't know, an introduction to who we are or together as friends. But for 30 years, um, she's put up with me and vice versa. But I was telling someone the other day, we all, and this is going to go right into the topic, we all fear certain things. Almost every single assessment, be it disc, Enneagram, Myers Briggs, um, gosh, what are some other ones out there that are popular?
SPEAKER_00Um there are so many there, you know, because there's the Clinton, uh, the the Clinton strengths, the yeah.
SPEAKER_01Almost all of them identify some kind of a fear that we're trying to mitigate. And I just thought that was so interesting that we would start our first conversation on fear, on fear, because um we do talk about that a lot. And for me in the disc, my fear is usually rejection because I'm an I. I said we weren't gonna talk about that, but evidently we will. Um, so and for well, I'm an I C E D. But anyway, my main fear is rejection. And personally, I've noticed in my life that I have some friendships that happened early on, like one in elementary school and one in high school, and then one as when I was working at another at an institution, um, where people have just said, I don't want to be your friend. And um, that's a big that's like rejection on a major level. I mean, that's huge rejection.
SPEAKER_00I mean, we know we both, but in the reality, we both know that um we come to relationships in our lives that it's just time to quit that person because they aren't who we are and growing on all of those types of things. I know, but but your eye sees a they hate me. They don't.
SPEAKER_01They didn't need to, they don't anyway. That's not the main point. The main point I'm trying to make is Kim is a friend who has stuck by me for 30 years. Kim is a friend who has not said, I don't want to be your friend. Kim is a friend who has said, You're really screwing up in this area, or I don't like the way you treated me here, or hey, this is really awesome. You should move forward. Or this is something that you said you wanted to do and you're not doing it. Kim is that friend for me. So y'all get the benefit of 30 years of friendship here when she and I start talking about some of these topics. I'm really excited about walking into this new venture with you in my podcast.
SPEAKER_00I think you know, it's interesting because I, you know, we do know each other for 30 years. And so we know all of our dirty laundry as long as you know together. And we have we have grown in our friendship over the years, and we've had some hard conversations over those years trying to figure out what pathways we're on and where our friendship is and how we're going. And I mean, we've been there through you know, our marriages and and your children and you know, family deaths and lives, and it's just it's you just know that person, right? So um it doesn't surprise me that we're here 30 years later at this point, um, doing these types of things together, which is great, but it's super scary. So we want to talk about fear, right? Um, for those of you who hate being recorded or hate being on video, at least I'm the producer, I can edit out anything I don't like. So that's awesome for me. Um, can tweak my sound. I can't tweak my look, unfortunately. Um, but but yeah, so it's I think it is understanding the journey. Nothing to tweak about her look. I'm just gonna throw it out there. Thanks. Um, but I do think that we we've we've watched each other and others around us um manage fear um and and figure out how it impacts us and how we respond to it, right? Um, because some of us are very reactionary and some of us are very frozen. I mean, this is you know that fight or flight type of perspective.
SPEAKER_01And when we were discussing this, one of the things they brought up is there's that there's that there's three. There's a third, yeah. The fight, the flight, and the fawn. And um, I hadn't really heard that until recently, and then introduced it to So describe the fawn to people because I think a lot of people haven't heard that. How did I describe it to you as like the fainting goats? Yes. Um, you know, fawning is basically becoming very submissive. Um it's what a dog does when they kind of like show their belly. They show their like roll over on their back or they tuck their tail. Um, and it just it really basically says to who whatever you're encountering, I submit, you're in charge. I'm not going to, I'm not gonna run away and I am not gonna fight you. I come in peace. I come in peace, exactly. Exactly. But it's fawning is not necessarily a peacemaker, it's just a submissive. Um, so there are ways in which that shows up in our lives. Um, now, before we get too far into this, neither one of us are licensed psychotherapists. We are not, we are not. Um, we are people, we are women who have opinions and we have thoughts, and we are both, again, certified disc consultants, and we are both John Maxwell team members, so leadership coaches. We also have lived a few years on the planet. We have some wisdom and some expertise, um, but mostly we have the way we've encouraged each other, and we just kind of want to share some of that, those thoughts and that that wisdom with you. So um were you done with your thought process? Okay, no, you're good. I after 30 years, she knows I kind of just pick up and take over. Um, so last week in uh episode 68, the fear journey with Michelle Eberhard. Uh she one of the things that was so in uh I don't know, enigmatic or interesting to me about her was this idea that she realized that everything that was the one thing that was holding her back in every area of her life was fear of something. And so she went on this one-day excursion to experience every kind of major fear that she had. She did things like repelling down a mountain and learning how to use a firearm. And I mean, I don't even remember what they all were. Um, I know that we linked to that video that she put together. I thought she did those over the course of some time. And if you listen to that episode, you found out this. I found out that she did that all in one day. And so she decided that every single time she wanted to conquer a fear, she was just gonna take it on head on.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, she was just gonna jump in, right? Just completely just just do it and get it over with, not not think about it, not mull it over, just do it. I mean, this is this is a woman who was a professional drag racer. So um I think that we look at um that type of skill set that she has, a very young CE, CEO of business, C O O, thank you, of business. Um, we look at that going, well, um, we can't even imagine doing the those things in general. You chose to do those, those very what we look as scary things or fearful things as your life, like not just as a oh, I'm a whim, I'm gonna go bungee jumping. No, it's not even that. It's like I'm gonna get in a race car and go as fast as I can for my living. Um, I'm gonna go at 22 and run businesses. I'm gonna be a COO at 22 um in a tech industry, in a in, you know, in hard industries. So we're afraid to back into our driveway sometimes. You know, it's just we literally got hit backing into my driveway yesterday. Yesterday, yeah. Um so I I think that that we look at um how we respond to fear in general, and and Michelle responds to it with enthusiasm and energy and um excitement. And so many of us don't don't see fear that way, right?
SPEAKER_01Right. And she her tagline is basically fear is excitement without breathing. Right. And you know, I looked up what the correlation was between fear and excitement, and they both stimulate your hypothalamus now, not a neurologist or anything. That's a piece of your brain, that's a part of your brain. Um, and it that stimulates your fight, flight, or fawn. But the one thing I also discovered was that um, because there are some things that scare us that we like, right? So um are you a roller coaster rider? Have we we've been to like one theme park together, I think. Yeah. Um, so and that was many, many years ago. Um year one.
unknownI know.
SPEAKER_01Um so for instance, when you get on a roller coaster or a theme park ride, a lot of them, it's this expectation of a thrill, but it's still a fear. So the definition I was reading online was that when fear is expected, if it's regular or if it's something that we know is coming, then many times it actually stimulates this pleasure uh sensory spot in our brain that excitement does. So that's where you kind of cross over the line from fear to excitement. Does that make sense? It does. Okay. Yeah. So I think you know, we want to be careful that we don't automatically assume that all fear that's expected is good. It's it we're not going those places. We're just talking about in general life, you know, people say, Well, I'm afraid to do such and such. I'm afraid to do this, that, or the other. I'm afraid to like I quit my job, right? It's like, talk about fear.
SPEAKER_00You know, it's funny when when you and I were talking about doing this, having this conversation about fear. Um, I had seen, oh gosh, probably like showing up on my Facebook feed and things like that, how there are all sorts of different um made-up definitions of what F-E-A-R fear stands for, right? So I took note of a couple of the ones that kind of like jumped out at me as being, you know, these are very different perspectives of how to think about fear, right?
SPEAKER_01Hit me with them.
SPEAKER_00Um, so a frantic effort to avoid reality. I love that.
SPEAKER_01Oh my gosh, that's good. That's fight. That's flight, right? That's flight.
SPEAKER_00That's fight. Um, for everything, a reason. Gosh.
SPEAKER_01Right. That's like that's like acceptance, right? That's um that sounds almost spiritual. Yeah, a little bit. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00Face everything and rise.
SPEAKER_01Oh, that's courage. That's fight, right?
SPEAKER_00Let me in there. I'm gonna take care of it. Yeah, right. So I mean, so there's like there are pages of these that you can find online to find one that kind of like speaks to you or you can or you can see um as as how to see fear in a different way.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, right.
SPEAKER_00Um because it doesn't always have to be uh you're afraid. Right. We were we were talking when you and I were talking about this, um, well, I don't know, 10 days ago, whatever it was. And um, I said, you know, everybody's situation is so unique and so different, right? So um I said, for me, my response to um a lion walking into the room behind me, yeah, or HR walking into the room behind me, I want the lion every single time, right? I'm like, here kitty kitty. Yes. I I think that that that to me is less, yes, it could lick my head off or bite my head, lick my head off, bite my head off. But I have puppies in the house. You can tell she's an animal lover. Right. And I have puppies in the house right now. So um um it's it's it's a it's a that does not create that's that that runaway and hide moment of fear. Whereas when HR goes in, you're like, oh, my life is over. You know, it's right, it it is for me, that is getting my head bitten off, right? So um I I do think that how we respond and react, um, and it is so different in our personal lives versus our work lives or our career lives, um, how we how we see fear, right? Um, because so many people also look at fear in themselves as a failure. Yeah. That that they've failed somehow, and that's why they're afraid. Now we know it it's this visceral intrinsic response that our body is often having when it's true fear. Um, but some people thrive off that, like Michelle. Like we know people who like, I want to see every horror movie out there. I'm like, I don't ever want to see a horror movie, right? Um, or who jump out of planes or who jump out of planes, right? And and and it it does. It's like it's an adrenaline, sorry, it's an adrenaline boost. And and it's it, it's it's it's really interesting to see how people respond.
SPEAKER_01Well, and let's go ahead and talk about that. When we uh several podcasts in a row, I have mentioned, or even I don't know, like on my Facebook group or something, I've mentioned the idea that when we coach for life coaching and when we actually look at how we're gonna personally grow, we have to remember that we are whole beings, right? We are body, mind, soul, and spirit. And you've just described a little bit of physical responses, right? So I I want to also, before we go into those, make it clear that there's a difference between fear and anxiety. Anxiety is a consistent, you know, constant, um, it's more thought, it's more thought origins and then has more of a physical response. A lot of times fear is for a specific thing and it's for a specific time. It's not, I, you know, like I said, I'm not a psychologist. So please, no, no haters on for the definitions that we give. This is just our thoughts. But um, fear, the way we're talking about it, I think is more of specific situation type things. Um, and they may be it, maybe like Michelle, many of us are looking at certain opportunities with fear and not taking advantage of them because of the fear that we have. So when we talk about body, mind, soul, and spirit, um, the body, we always we do get a physical response, right? We our heart races, our adrenaline pumps. Um some of us pass out. Um yeah. And for me, it's weird things like I get a peppery taste in the back of my mouth. Um, and I know that's really odd, but I that's when I know I'm afraid of something, right? And when we have those physical symptoms, I think it's really important to pay attention. And when we're not, I think as Americans in general, we don't necessarily pay attention to what our body is telling us.
SPEAKER_00Oh, we don't.
SPEAKER_01And we're not taught to do that. And um we're or we're taught to think that our we can think over everything or the thoughts equal our emotions. So we I don't think we have a good understanding of that, how it all works together. But what are some physical responses that you have to fear? Do you know?
SPEAKER_00I mean, is there anything that you can just automatically oh sure? I get sweaty. Um yeah, my my blood pressure goes up, so I can like feel my heartbeat in my neck type of thing. Um, you know, it's it's I I I personally don't get the lightheaded feeling, but a lot of people do. Yeah. Um, but I do, and sometimes unfortunately, it's like a longer term thing, depending on the kind of fear it is. Like it, if it is that truly scary fear that, you know, I'm going to be injured or hurt. Like we had terrific snows last week and a lot of people out of power, tremendous lines down, driving to and from work was that that 15, 20 minute intense feeling of your heart just, you know, please don't stop beating. Please don't slide on the road every time the car, the little squiggle lines come up on your car because you've you've hit that little black ice patch. Um, those adrenaline pumping things um that you're like, okay, I could go home and take a shower. Um if I had water, if I had water, right?
SPEAKER_01Okay, sorry, I have to do a weird side tangent. A lot of people didn't have water because they didn't have power. Is that because you're on a pump? It's because I have a well. A well? Okay.
SPEAKER_00So the electricity fires the pump, which it pushes the water through the to the house.
SPEAKER_01So this is where I'm grateful to be on city water, where City Girl, City Girl. I know right, City Girl. We live 20.
SPEAKER_00We live, we live 30 minutes apart from each other.
SPEAKER_01So um we're we're both out in the county. It just that I think maybe people four roads over have wells, and I and we all have county water, let me put it that way. Okay, so anyway, that answers that burning question that I had. Um, so going back to the body, mind, soul, and spirit, when we have those things that happen that give us that physical response, a lot of times then our mind gets engaged with, and it may be that the mind causes the thought or causes the fear, but let's just say HR walks in the room automatically the thought goes to I'm gonna lose my job. Yep. Or why do we do that?
SPEAKER_00I don't know, but we're yeah, we're women of a certain age that that's how we were taught.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. And I think there's a certain, I was gonna say there's a certain amount of conditioning for certain things. And um, so then you know, I've talked about the thought model before that Brooke Castillo uses. We could walk through the thought model, but our thoughts actually fuel and determine whether or not we see something as fear or excitement, right? Absolutely. You know, if if like Michelle says, um, it's fear is excitement without breathing, then if you just start to breathe, then that actually it's amazing how that helps.
SPEAKER_00In theory, it's that you know, take a deep breath. It's kind of like when you're watching if you're asthmatic or you know somebody who's asthmatic and they're having an asthma attack and you see it in their face, how terrified they are in that moment. And if you can just get them to remember breathe slowly and in and out, and it will all of a sudden you're like, well, I actually can do this. I'm not going to like, you know, so it works. Yeah, yeah. So I think that I think that there is something about um, if you can find a way to think your way through it, um, it's it's just it's just this piece.
SPEAKER_01Just move forward. I was reading and I've shared that I'm reading um Carol Dweck's mindset. I've quoted her many times. I figured it was time to read the book, and I figured a great way to start the year is to read that book. And she just gave, I just finished the chapter where she was giving some great athletic uh examples. And Jackie Joyner Kersey is one of those who, you know, best women's at woman's athlete of all time. And she's an asthmatic. And her last medal um was in the middle of a horrible asthma attack. And she got a bronze medal, and she said it meant more to me because I pushed through my asthma attack, right? So this is the fear uh helping your mind overcoming the fear that you have. Um, but I think it's really important for us to understand that fear does happen in our thoughts. So moving on from the mind, we have the soul. So body, mind, soul. Um, the soul is our emotions. And sometimes we need for new thoughts to actually influence our emotions. But what we need to recognize too is that a lot of times our emotions are an automatic response to our body or. They're a conditioned response. And when we look at pushing through the fear barrier in uh was it neurolinguistic processing? Yep. Um, when we look through pushing through that, we actually have to allow those emotions to happen. Um, but the last piece of that is in our spiritual aspect of understanding that when we're fearful, it doesn't this, I'm not talking about anxiety and I'm not talking about constant worry. Um, the word fear, a lot of times in a faith community, can have a really negative connotation. And I want to say to everybody listening, if you're afraid of something, it doesn't mean you don't have any faith, right? Um, we all know this is my background as um as a Christian. I've been a Christian since I was eight. My dad was a pastor, my husband's a pastor. Um, so I'm and I nearly have a seminary degree, but I'm fearful of things or I have fear sometimes. And it's not an indicator of your level of faith. It may be an indicator of where you need to go with that fear sometimes.
SPEAKER_00You know, it might it might be an indicator of the things that we need to really like delve into and think about, right? Right. But it doesn't mean it doesn't impact what we believe or what our faith is. Um, it just means that we may have some questions. It doesn't, that's not questions necessarily regarding faith. It's just about who we are internally, like who we are. And and and I think that fear is actually super healthy. Um I think I think that gosh, without fear, we're psychopaths.
SPEAKER_01I'm sorry, we just are or sociopaths or whatever that's right.
SPEAKER_00Um, but it is being afraid or being fearful or having fear doesn't diminish or um or lessen your faith at all, regardless of what it is you believe.
SPEAKER_01Agreed. And I think this is a really good segue into just kind of some wrapping up with some tips and some ideas. So I was actually making a few notes here. Um, and you kind of went into that a little bit, but I said, what does fear do for you? What is the purpose of it? Um and I said the very first thing, and we can just spitball a little bit here, but I said data collection, right? It tells me information. Um what else does fear do for us?
SPEAKER_00Well, so fear gives us a clearer perspective. I mean, if we when you experienced it yesterday, because I got to see you on video as you were trying to back into your driveway, and I saw your heart rate like go crazy. You're like, oh my gosh, that guy almost hit me. He came out of nowhere, he was speeding down this road. And you even said in the moment, this is why I don't back in this way. Right. Um, so again, that's partially.
SPEAKER_01I didn't back in that way today, and there was nobody that you didn't.
SPEAKER_00And I still didn't.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. I so I I do think so, and and all a lot of it can fall under the the data collection header, but I do think that it's um it allows us to see other perspectives. It it gives us some clarity of, oh, I hate roller coasters. I remember now. No, I don't. Um, but they hurt. We they do hurt. I'm I'm I'm a little less young and a little less, you know. Um, so all that's actually that the the fear is less that, oh, I'm gonna fall off this thing and it's gonna hurt me. What's going, you know, that I'm gonna like plunge to my death, but I'm going to get off there going, oh my gosh, I feel like I'm 84 now, not you know. Yeah, I I I do think that that's those are some of the things that fear gives you. I think they give you a healthier perspective to be a little more well-rounded and and and to not be so um, oh gosh, I I wanna say embrazened because if we don't have fear, we're just gonna like as a child, if we don't have fear, we're gonna put our hand up that hot stove, right? Um, you know, I think that fear is a healthy thing for us to, oh, that could be dangerous. Let me not jump into the lion pen, right? Yeah. Because oh, it looks like fun, and I'm just gonna get these, you know, cats to there's there's something that shows up on again. I'm going back to social media, but there's something that shows up on my feed of this very large cat. Like it is some sort of predator cat. It's not, it should not be a house pet, but it is a wild animal that's been made a house pet. And I show it to my husband, and he's like, Yeah, it's cute until it eats your face off. And they'll show videos of it, like they're like calling this ginormous cat to come up and jump up on it, and it like mouths down on a raw chicken leg out of the person's hand. No, and I'm well, right. And I'm like, okay, that's just stupidity. So hopefully, fear educates us and allows us to be smarter too and not make those types of decisions, right?
SPEAKER_01So I have four things here. I have data collection, right? It gives us it, it just it's like oh, what was that? Um, that Disney movie with the robot that kept saying input, input, input.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, short circuit.
SPEAKER_01Short circuit where you keep saying input, input. And I find that's like a curiosity factor. Yeah. Um, and to you know, so that I'm gonna get into some mitigation things in a second, but um, data collection, helping us understand ourselves, right? That's just part of data collection. And you said gives a clearer perspective. And then I said makes wise help you make wise choices because I will not back in that way again in my driveway. And I will not, you know, take a raw chicken leg to a giant cat. But um, but it also means that making wise choices could mean that, well, if if I know a better way to do it, I can still back into my driveway. I just don't have to do it that way. I can make good choices that still enable me to do uh what I want to do. So I what about ways to mitigate fear? Um, obviously, we have think differently, right? Because um, we can change the way we think, we can always think a new thought. There, I've said lots and lots about this. I have um we we have worksheets on how to work through new thoughts, uh, DM me, you know, contact me, all kinds of stuff.
SPEAKER_00Change your mind, you want to change your mindset? Reach out to Andrea. Um, she's gonna she's gonna help you do that. But so yeah, change your mindset. I think that understand the physical response your body's having and find ways to change it, right? So when something doesn't work, we have to change it, right? So yeah, it's kind of like the bumper car thing. Um, and so you you bump off it and you do something else. So um when you get stuck in a loop, you need to like scratch bump the record because it's stuck on a groove, right? So it's well, I'm old, sorry.
SPEAKER_01For all you kids out there that a record.
SPEAKER_00Vinyl is big though, no. So, but it is teaching an asthmatic to breathe through it, right? And you're having a panic attack, slow down, you know, imagery and all of those types of things that can shake up that moment in the moment. You know, it's like you used to see um um uh in in movies, you know, smack out of it and they'd slap you and it would you just oh yeah, you know, smack you into into sense. I'm not saying anybody should do that. I'm just like in cartoons, like in cartoons, and and you're like, oh right, this is what's going on, right? Yeah. Um, so I I think that those are mitigation tools.
SPEAKER_01Um, I wrote down pay attention and be kind, like pay attention to myself and be kind, and and instead of seeing fear as a failure, see fear as just an indicator light on your dashboard. And sometimes it is an indicator light of hey, something fun is coming. And it doesn't have to be an indicator light of your oil is low or your brakes are going out.
SPEAKER_00Right, right.
SPEAKER_01It can be an opportunity, it can be an opportunity, right? Because when you pay attention uh to those things, then you know what they are.
SPEAKER_00Um, I mean, we think about when you when you recently when you left your job to start your business full time, yeah. The fear that went with that, the pre-fear before it happened, once it happened, oh my gosh, it's happened now. What do I do? All of those things. What did I do? Right. Yeah. Well, well, right, but but it's it's the huge opportunity you created for yourself, right? This huge next step into the next piece of your of your it's going to be fearful along the way. Every day we're gonna have fear that faces us, and how we walk into it is going to really kind of show how we end up.
SPEAKER_01And I think that yeah, and I think looking down the road, it's really important to say, do I want to let these smaller fears change my trajectory in the future? Right. And um, when we talk about pushing through that fear barrier, um, it's a lot of times it's just changing the way you see it, using one of those acronyms that made out of the word fear. And we can post those in the show notes. We won't, we won't do really detailed show notes for a conversation like this, but we can put those in the show notes and we can put a couple of these things like how you mitigate it and what it does for you. But um changing the seeing it as a courage thing, right? Uh courage is not the absence of fear, courage is doing it while you're afraid. And um, so you know, seeing it as courage. And then just like Michelle said, breathe, right? Just breathe. And a lot of times that really will get us through. So are there are there any other things that we should talk about, you know, in overcoming fear or because I don't think that the type of fear we're talking about is the kind that will throw you into a panic attack. These are these are the fears that are just keeping us from becoming who we can be, right? From excelling and exceeding our own expectations or taking advantage of the spark that that we've discovered in ourselves and latching onto that passion and moving forward. That's the goal here. And when we talk about leading, we of course lead first ourselves and then we lead others. So as we do that, we're we're going to have to learn to do those things.
SPEAKER_00Well, and I think that we look, we if we look at um, we have to stop looking at failure or fear of failure as a problem because you know, failure is just your first attempt, right? Um, and so I I think that it is. Yeah, no, it's great. What did I say, Thomas Edison? You know, it took it took 10,000 attempts to make the light bulb. Well, it actually uh it was 10,000 failures. It was 10,000 failures before you had a working light bulb. No, it's just 10,000 attempts at the next thing. Yeah, it wasn't a failure. So um, but people are afraid to take that step, that step forward for you to leave your job, for example, and and go out on your own. Um, that's there's there's fear that goes with that, but not doing it is also something to be afraid of, right? That's also something to fear. And and I think this gives us the opportunity to to you know live the fullest life that we can live. Yeah. Be that person that we were created to be. Absolutely.
SPEAKER_01You sound like you sound like me. Like I sound like somebody I know. Yeah, you've maybe you've listened to my podcast. Um, so on that silly note, um, you guys are getting just a taste of what it's like for us to sit down and have a conversation. Um, this is something that we enjoy doing. I hope that it's been helpful for you. And I want to make sure that you know that um inside the Facebook group, Intentional Optimist Facebook group, we do have we don't have like live conversations like this, but you know, who knows what 2022 will bring. We could. Um, we do have conversations like this inside our Zooms um from Launch from the Beach. And this is an amazing place for women to come together and to learn how to do well what we already do. It's like how we do what we do. That's what intentional optimism is. Intentional optimism is one of the systems that we can use to help overcome and mitigate our fears. And Launch from the Beast Beach is a place to do that. Of course, we've got the show notes and include all the links and everything. But um, part of flourishing in 2022, which is what I'm my goal is to help all of us do that, is to help us overcome some of those fears, is to help us think of these things in a different way. So here's to 2022, here's to flourishing, and here's to not living in fear. Thank you, my friend. I love you. Yes, I love you too. Thank you so much. Until next time. Hey, thanks for spending your precious time with us today. If you love this podcast and find it to be uplifting and helpful, follow us, or subscribe, then please take a moment and leave a review in one of those amazing five-star ratings. You can also snap a screenshot right where you listen, share it to social media, and tag me. This helps others find us and will have an even bigger impact. If you're curious what it would be like to work more closely with me, or to step up as an unconventional leader yourself, schedule a free discovery session and we'll chat. But maybe you're an entrepreneur looking for a support team. I'd like to personally invite you into my collaborative community, Launch from the Beach. It could be just what you're looking for. All of my contact information and all the links are included in the show notes. And don't forget, you can always connect with other intentional optimists in our Facebook community. You can follow my Facebook or Instagram page, or even connect with me on LinkedIn. Additionally, I invite you to subscribe to my newsletter, Optimistic Living. It's good stuff delivered straight to your inbox on a not so strict schedule, but always from the heart. Remember, unconventional leaders lead at every level, in any area, using their unique gifts. And you, my friend, are a leader. You are the future of leadership and the role models for future generations. Until next time.
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