Breaking Free: Owning Your Actions for Personal and Leadership Growth

Ever feel like you're just a pawn in your own life, tossed about by the whims of circumstance? Being a leader isn't just about taking charge – it's also about taking responsibility. Join me, as I share my personal journey from being a victim, to becoming the builder of my own destiny. 

In this episode we delve into the transformative power of personal responsibility, the concept of radical responsibility and explore how taking ownership of our problems can pave the way for personal growth and healing.

In the second half, we turn the spotlight on the role of personal responsibility in leadership, specifically for us women. I'll guide you through understanding how you, too, can harness your unique leadership potential and how owning your actions can lead to greater personal agency. We'll explore the importance of boundaries in leadership and in life, and how understanding where you end and others begin can enhance your effectiveness as a leader. Ready to level up? Let's embark on this journey together.

How to own your ‘stuff’ and learn to let it go.

1. Understanding boundaries
2. Own your issues

Ask yourself:

1. How well defined are your boundaries?
2. In what areas of your life do you need to take personal responsibility?
3. What issues do you have that need to find a place on a shelf and do you need help with that?

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Chapters

• 0:02 Leveling Up
• 9:27 Empowering Female Leaders

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:02

Hey, it's summer 2023. If you're new to my world, welcome. I'm Andrea Johnson, a transformational leadership coach, and my passion is working with ambitious, high-achieving women who are truly ready to impact their world. The Intentional Optimists Unconventional Leaders podcast has been three years of teaching my philosophy and learning what high-achieving women all have in common in their stories, in their backgrounds and their mindset. I have interviewed over 75 amazing leaders and the information I've gleaned has actually changed my life. They've encouraged my growth and development in ways I never expected, and now it's time for me to level up. So I've got a brand new podcast coming out this fall and I can't wait to share it with you. It's currently in development and all the necessary gear shifting and whizz-bang thing of Majigee things are going on behind the scenes, so I want to refresh your memory, or share with you for the first time, if you're new, on some of these foundational and important concepts and thoughts that have contributed to the development of this next level. Between now and the new launch, i'm sharing with you my personal must-have episodes that will set you up to switch gears right along with me, and when I say switch gears, what I really mean is kick it into high gear. So if you want to level up along with me and be encouraged to grow past that spot where you keep getting stuck, subscribe or follow the show now, because right here is where the new podcast will live too. Share it with your friends and let's get the next revolution started. You're listening to Intentional Optimists, the podcast for unconventional leaders, where you'll find inspiration, learn to discover and develop your own strengths and hear from inspiring women just like you who are making a difference in their community. Who knows, you just might find yourself stepping up as the next unconventional leader right where you are. I'm your host, andrea Johnson, the original Intentional Optimist. Welcome to Episode 103.

Speaker 1: 2:10

I like to think of myself as terminally curious. I just love to learn. I geek out on documentaries and I'm a coach, so clearly I like to help you learn. But lately I've been learning a lot. Even by my standards, this past year has been a bit of a personal deep dive into some topics that I've only heard surface information about in the past, because I was busy working with a side hustle and, to be honest, there are some topics that are just hard. For instance, i'm sure you've heard the term trauma, whether or not it's swirling around in your circles yet, but in the coaching world we hear the phrase trauma informed to indicate that that particular coach is trained in how to help people work through those traumatic issues.

Speaker 1: 2:58

Well, this year I was also privileged to be involved in the startup of a book club with this amazing circle of women. We're all interested in personal and professional growth and back in June we read the book The Body Keeps the Score Brain, mind and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Dr Bessel Vander Kolk. Yep, in my book club. Granted, we are rotating between some good fiction and nonfiction, but hey, we're ambitious ladies. What can I say Now? I dove into this book. The first few chapters just ate it all up. Oh, this amazing information on the background of how the brain works and the discovery of PTSD as a diagnosis. Thank you, it all made such beautiful sense to me.

Speaker 1: 3:42

Now, many of the stories and case studies were deeply troubling, but the ability to have a tenuous grasp on the role of trauma in even my life was, quite frankly, empowering. I began to see things in my own past, things that I had had a hard time letting go of but never really even considered that they might fall into the category of trauma. Then one day my coach friend, lee McCraw-Levitt, said this to me Andrea, trauma is any experience in your life that doesn't yet have a shelf upon which to sit. It changed my perspective immediately. Suddenly, i no longer saw myself as a victim of things I just couldn't let go, or as unable to live life on life's terms, as they told me in my 12-week outpatient bulimia program. For the first time I saw myself as a builder, a builder of the shelving that was going to help me get all my stuff off the floor so I could move forward.

Speaker 1: 4:43

Now all the learning and all these interviews that I've done over the last 102 episodes with women who have overcome obstacle after obstacle has kind of opened my eyes to how important personal responsibility and agency are and how it's actually a form of self-care. Last week I shared my conversation with Marsha Van Weinsberg, who specializes in coaching people into what she calls radical responsibility. It's the idea that only one person can own a problem, so you have to let others own their stuff, which means that you have to own yours. And as a follow-up, i want to share a few ways that I've come to understand what it means to have personal responsibility or personal agency and the difference it will make in your quality of life, relationships and your effectiveness as a leader. It all begins with understanding boundaries. You know, like, where you end and others begin. This goes back to Marsha's point about one person owning a problem.

Speaker 1: 5:42

You see, in general I am not a super black and white kind of girl. I am totally fine with all the wonderful nuanced gray areas, but there are a few things that either are or aren't An understanding. That is crucial to understanding personal boundaries. You see, there's you and there's not you. Sure, there are people that you're willing to share your space with, but in general the you space is just for you. So understanding what falls inside or outside that space is imperative. Things like your thoughts, your words, your values, your beliefs, your actions these are all on you. Other people's thoughts, values, beliefs, etc. Those are not you.

Speaker 1: 6:25

When you have well-defined boundaries, you can then build your own shelving upon which to place experiences or events that might not currently have a home And they're just floating around in your head and your heart, showing up at the most inopportune times as what we might call triggers or grudges. If you have some bigger traumas, please seek out a professional who specializes in trauma recovery. But if, like me, you just need some encouragement to take responsibility for your role in a situation or event, then this is your opportunity. Next, you need to own your issues. Start naming them. Take a look at the things that pop up and hinder your ability to enjoy your daily life. Build strong personal relationships or authentically lead your team.

Speaker 1: 7:10

Start, one by one, taking responsibility for your thoughts in your words and your actions, allowing anyone else involved in the space to own theirs. Yes, i know this is much easier said than done and you might need some help. I certainly do. I have great coaches who help me identify these areas and then call me to my own personal responsibility. So if you have a good friend or a co-worker who can help you with this one, please take them up on it. Otherwise, find yourself a coach or a counselor and start putting these things up on the shelf and out of the way. Doing this will help you take responsibility for everything that's inside your space and within your power, because here's the beauty about personal responsibility Personal responsibility always brings a friend.

Speaker 1: 8:00

Say hello to personal agency. Personal agency refers to the sense that I am the one who is causing or generating an action When you have a sense of personal agency, you see that you influence and affect your future by your own choices and actions. Having a sense of your own agency makes your boundaries pop really clear, which then gives you confidence to both share them and stay within them. So I have some questions for you. One how well-defined are your boundaries? These are your personal boundaries and they can be better defined by understanding your core values, your beliefs, your strengths, all the things that inform your personal agency.

Speaker 1: 8:48

Two in what areas of your life, past or present, do you need to take personal responsibility? This is where you own your stuff. You can start with things that keep you from enjoying your life, like unresolved anger, old hurts or grief. How about personal relationships that are broken or hurting? Look at the challenges that you're having at work or in your team. If you need to write these things down, making a list makes a difference. And number three what issues do you have that really need to find a place on a shelf and do you need help doing that?

Speaker 1: 9:27

My passion is to equip and empower you. I am here to equip and empower the next generation of female leaders to think critically, create imaginatively and lead effectively in any situation, team or organization, and my hope is that the information that we bring you on this podcast, even in these shorter episodes, will give you the inspiration to move forward with confidence and strength to lead in your own unique and beautiful way in your personal and professional life, and it brings me great joy to watch you realize your own leadership potential as you develop trust in yourself. So how can I help Set up a 30 minute consultation where we can figure out exactly what you need Before you go? scroll down, hit the five star button and comment with your biggest takeaway from this episode. How about something like what do you need to do in order to take more personal responsibility, so that you can have more personal agency?

Speaker 1: 10:30

Then share this podcast with a friend. Gosh, we women need to stick together and we need to share when we find a really good message. If this one resonated, share it Until next time. Oh good, you're still here because I have one more invitation for you. My newsletter, Optimistic Living, is full of good stuff delivered straight to your inbox. So for weekly encouragement tips and even some special offers, hop over to my website and sign up, because unconventional leaders lead at every level, in any area, using their unique gifts. And you, my friend, are a leader. You are the future of leadership and the role models for future generations.